


Tangled, Like Spaghetti

by shamelesstoaster



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bone touching???, Confusion, Cute, Ecto-Genitalia (Undertale), Ecto-Tongue (Undertale), Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Good Intentions, Masterbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, NSFW, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Red soul, Resets, Slow Burn, Smut, Soul Sex, Suspicious Sans, Touching, cooking together, reader is female, vanilla sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2018-11-05 13:32:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelesstoaster/pseuds/shamelesstoaster
Summary: Before Frisk, there was another Red Soul, but sometimes adulthood tends to dull the bright fire of determination.As a confused human who sorta wants to get home but sorta doesn't, can you get through the Underground without dying or falling in love with a skeleton?Probably not.Will you have fun?Most definitely.(Smut starts in Chapter 5!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this strange, convoluted story as much I enjoyed plotting it out! This is my first time writing second-person, or reader POV, so please be forgiving. I'm not used to the format, but I hope to get better with practice as the story goes on.
> 
> Let's start it off, shall we?

"Curiosity killed the cat..."

You glance at the wooden sign, the words 'keep out' nearly completely faded away. Then you gaze up at the mountain, a slow smile spreading across your face.

"But cats have nine lives for a reason, right?"

***

The ancient Greeks had had some pretty awesome myths and legends. The historic tales of gods and goddesses had been your favourite subject at school, and you had spent many a long night buried in library books because of it. Then you had found out that, not only was Mount Olympus a real place, but it was very accessible. The Greeks had never hiked the mountain to see if their legends really existed, whether from fear, laziness, or the determination to believe no matter what the facts were. Of nothing else, this little fact amused you to no end.

Your penchant for myths and stories had grown over the years, blossoming into something of an obsession. As soon as you were able to, you had decided to investigate any urban legends you could.

The ancient Greeks were not the only legends you had grown up hearing about. Long long ago, another species had coexisted with humans. Monsters, beings made almost entirely from magic, back when magic was readily accessible and human Mages were more common. Of course, humans, being the idiots they were, had been afraid of some kind of uprising, and a war had started. With the help of some very powerful Mages, the remaining monsters had been sealed underground with a spell- under Mt Ebott, to be exact. 

Over the years, the story had become just that- a story. You had researched as much as you could, but real information was hard to come by. While most people seemed to know the epic tales of history, it seemed that humans had wanted to forget this whole species had ever existed. 

It was after your second year at university that you decided to take matters into your own hands.

Taking a gap year had been the best decision you ever made. It gave you time to hone your fact-gathering and journalism skills without deadlines looming over your head. Out of all the projects you had set for yourself this year, Mt Ebott had been high on the list. You had travelled the world, gathering information on the urban legend that was monsters, and now you had ended up here. With any luck, whatever the outcome was, you'd have the makings of a great piece for your local newspaper.

You adjusted the bag on your back and took a deep breath. Mt Ebott was climbable, and just waiting for you to investigate it. You would be a Greek no longer.

***

Your first night on the mountain was a tough one. You scouted the base of it, looking for signs something, anything, that could be taken as magical, and you didn't come up completely empty-handed. Coming across the entrance to a large cave, you almost missed the faded markings on the wall- runes of some kind? Excited, you continued into the cave, only to reach a dead end. The smooth wall of rock was definitely not naturally made, but other than that, you couldn't find anything suspicious. No hidden latches or doors. Mind you, if magic had been involved...

Annoyed, you snapped a few pictures and left the cave, continuing up the mountain.

You camped out about half-way up, and the next day you were sore and grumpy. Still undaunted, you meticulously searched the forest-laden mountain, enjoying the wonders of nature as you did so. The view was spectacular, through the gaps in the trees, and you stopped every so often to gaze down at the township that had grown under the mountain, despite the stories and speculation. Or maybe because of. The town did moderately well for itself, being the site of a well-known legend, but not many were brave enough to actually go up.

You weren't afraid. You had provisions and equipment to last days, and you were careful. You refused to let the stories of the occasional missing child who had wandered up here bother you. And... you were a little bit too curious for your own good, but that had served you well so far...

It was late afternoon when you found it. A large hole sunken into the earth, too wide to be made by an animal. "Unless it was a fucking huge rabbit," you mutter, shining your torch into the darkness. 

It feels like an understatement to say that it's deep. You throw rocks and sticks into the gaping hole, listening for them to bounce off boulders or water, but only silence follows. The largest branch you can comfortably carry does not touch the bottom, and neither does your coil of rope.

It should come as no surprise when you eventually lose your balance and fall in, but you still have the nerve to be shocked. Your shriek drops into fearful gasping as you fall through the air just like Alice, daylight rapidly disappearing behind you. How deep is this hole? 

Oh god-

You're going to die, aren't you?

Tears track down your face as the air rushes past you in the dark, and the breath out of your lungs.

***

When you open your eyes next, you're lying on something soft, and everything aches. It's not as painful as you thought a fall to your death would feel. You spend a few moments making sure your arms and legs can move, and roll onto your hands and knees. And blink at the yellow flowers that seem to have cushioned your fall, somehow.

"Okay...?" 

You pull off your backpack and quickly check what you're carrying. The tent and most of your food and clothes are still on the surface. Your water bottle, a few chocolate bars, electric toothbrush, cell phone, wet-wipes and other random items you had thought you might need in the few days away from your hotel were all safe. However, your torch didn't survive the fall, and after quickly checking your camera, you find that only the detachable lens has cracked right through. It had been an expensive addition, but at least you don't have to replace the entire camera. Not that any of that would matter if you were stuck down here forever.

"Okay." You repeat the word to yourself, to ground you. The sound of your own voice is comforting when facing potential death. You remember the stories of missing people and your heart sinks as you remember that no one lost on Ebott has ever been found. It takes you a moment, but when you're breathing normally, you stand up and clench your fists. You're okay. You're not dead yet. You've got this.

There's a corridor in front of you, and it seems to be the only option, so you square your shoulders and walk forward, into the dark.

***

You're starting to change your mind about being dead. A bed of flowers is one thing, but one large, moving, TALKING flower?

"Howdy!" it says. It has a face. It HAS A FACE. IT IS TALKING. A TALKING FLOWER. "I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower!"

You stare. What kind of afterlife have you been delivered into? At this point, you're too confused to panic.

"Hmm..." it- he?- muses, gazing at you expectantly. "You're new to the Underground, aren't-cha?"

Underground. In your foggy, confused mind, it makes sense that this place would be called where it is. You feel like you're missing something vital.

As if reading your thoughts, Flowey gives you a sympathetic look. "Golly, you must be so confused. Someone ought to teach you how things work around here."

Actually, you're more interested in knowing wheERE THE HELL YOU ARE.

"I guess little old me will have to do." Somehow, his grin widens. "Ready? Here we go!"

And without any other warning, you feel a pull in your chest, and a little red heart pops out in front of you.  
You blink.

That's right. A little red heart. It bobs in the air, shiny and solid, like plastic. You want to touch it, but you're terrified.

Flowey looks on, pleased. "See that heart? That's your soul, the very culmination of your being. It starts off weak, but can become strong if you gain a lot of LV. What's LV, you ask? Why, love, of course! You want some love, don't-cha?"

Your head is spinning. What kind of video-gamey shit-?

"Don't worry, I'll share some with you!" The flower winks, and you get a strange sense of foreboding. No one ever means well when they wink, especially not huge sentient flowers. Not a sentence you thought you'd ever think...

"Down here, love is shared through little, white 'friendliness pellets!'" To your terror, said pellets materialise behind him and start drifting towards you. "Move around! Try to get as many as you can."

You back away as the pellets pick up speed, but you're not fast enough as they all converge on you at once, slamming into your soul-heart. You feel a great jolt and the breath is knocked out of your lungs, forcing you to your knees. "Fuck!"

Flowey cackles, his face suddenly twisted into something grotesque. "You idiot! In this world, it's kill or BE killed! Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this?"

Before you even have time to get your breath, your are surrounded by the death-pellets. They start to close in on you, spinning too fast for you to follow. You gaze in despair at the evil flower as he laughs at you impending demise.

Then, suddenly, they disappear, and you shriek as a fireball knocks Flowey away, out of sight. In his place stands a tall, bipedal goat. Your head starts to spin as it finally puts two and two together.

"What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth." Her voice is soft, like her fur looks. She takes a step forward, and you shrink back. "Ah, do not be afraid, my child. I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. And you are?"

"I... Um..." You wrack your brain to remember your name, but the spinning is getting worse. Why do you feel so weak? You just have to sit down for a minute.

Darkness comes quicker than expected for the second time that day.

***

The next thing you know, you're jolting awake with a gasp, fireballs and flowers behind your eyes. You rub your eyes and take a few breaths, and realise you're somewhere comfortable yet again. More so than a bed of flowers. For a second, you hope that you're back in your hotel in Ebott City, that the insanity you remember was just a dream. But you're not, so it mustn't be.  
Instead, you're in a darkened room, in a bed almost too small for you. You're no longer in pain. In fact, you feel amazing, and you can even smell something delicious cooking.

You swing your legs over the side and pull yourself up slowly. You take the fact that you're not falling over to be a good sign, and so open the door and shuffle into the bright hallway. Following your nose, you head up the corridor and find yourself in a living room.

It's warm, with a fire crackling off to the side, and the goat monster (for this is what you're sure she is) sitting in an armchair nearby. She looks up from her book and smiles pleasantly. "Ah, you're awake. Are you feeling better?"

"Y-yes, thank you. Um..." You take a few steps forward, heart racing. "Where exactly am I?" You're sure you already know the answer, but you need to hear it confirmed.

"You are Underground. This is my home. I carried you here through The Ruins when you fainted."

"I'm assuming, from both you and that creature before, that this is where the monsters live?"

"Yes."

Suddenly your knees won't support your weight. From your new position the floor, laughter bubbles out of your chest, nervous and disbelieving. "I found the monsters. The living, breathing, magical monsters. No one is ever going to believe me..." Toriel is gazing at you curiously, and you shift nervously. "I-I'm sorry. I'm just a little overwhelmed. I wasn't expecting you to be real."  
"What do you mean, my dear?"

"Oh..." You wonder if she, or any other monsters, would be upset to know that humanity has forgotten they are real. "On the surface, monsters are the stuff of legends. We know the story of how you came to be down here, and I know a lot of people believe it, but so many others don't. You're just... legends now, I suppose."

"We have been down here for a long time..." She took a moment to reflect, then nodded slowly. "And I suppose you came looking for proof that we exist?"

"That's right." You suddenly feel silly, sitting on the floor, so you clamber to your feet and approach her. She rises to meet you, and you hold out your hand. "I suppose this is first contact, then. Hello. I'm _____."

She smiles gently and slowly shakes your hand, and you marvel at how large and soft her hand- paw?- is. "Hello, _____. I am Toriel. Welcome to the Underground, and my home."

You giggle again, unable to quench the giddy feeling. "I'm so excited and terrified to be here. And I'm so glad you're friendly."

Toriel's smile widens, eye crinkling. "I try my best to be. But, human, I must know..." She grips your hand tighter, smile turning to worry. "Do you intend to leave?"

Nervousness starts to rise at her tone. "Well, yes, eventually. I can't stay down here forever. I need to get home sometime. Why, is there really no way out of here?"

She sighs, glancing down at your clasped hands. "That... is a very difficult matter. There are only two ways to break the barrier between the Underground and the surface. One requires both a human soul and a monster soul. The other requires seven human souls, to mirror the seven Mages who sealed the barrier. Neither options are easy to accomplish."

You swallow, your heart clenching. "That's... heavy. And specific. And... there's no other options? I can't go back the way I came?"

"I'm afraid not. That place is one of only two weak spots connecting the outside world to us, and both of them only go one way."

You withdraw your hands, tears pricking your vision. "I guess... I'm stuck here then?"

She looks away, and her eyes are surprisingly sad. "I will make sure you are comfortable. You may come to like it here." She meets your eyes before turning away and heading towards another door. "In the meantime, you should eat something. I baked a pie for you while you were sleeping."

Though your world had just been turned upside down and you were ready to burst into tears at any moment, you were always down for pie. So you forced a smile and followed behind her, determined to make the best of what you now had. "Thank you, Toriel. I appreciate it."

And so begins your new life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew you couldn't stay forever...

Butterscotch-Cinnamon pie was a strange combination, but the flavours worked together marvelously. As smokey sweet tingles burst across your tongue with the first bite, you decided that this was your new favourite food.

As you ate, Toriel asked questions about your life. You explained how chasing legends led you to Mt Ebott, what else you had planned to do with your gap year, what you were studying at University, as well as everything you knew about the history of monsters. You listened as she corrected your ideas and told you more about her race, how they weren't blood-thirsty and dangerous as the legends seemed to paint them, but simply a nation of people looking for somewhere to belong. You understood that, as it mirrored human experiences a little too well.

You retired to your new room early, as you were still worn out from your unexpected trip. You didn't mind the small bed, too busy in the dark trying to process what had happened to you until finally, sleep dragged you down.

***

For the next few days, time passed quickly. Your host was gracious and kind, taking the time to show you around the Ruins outside her house. The various small monsters who lived there were mostly friendly, and while you quickly came to recognise the challenge to fight, you were easily able to pacify them with some kinds words. If necessary, your moderately good dodging skills. Toriel encouraged these friendly spars, and since every monster you spared left a few gold coins behind, you weren't complaining. You even managed to use the gold to buy donuts from a spider web, an experience that definitely improved your mood and made it to your camera roll.

You hadn't seen the flower monster who greeted you since that first day, and Toriel didn't seem to know anything about him, so you eventually you let yourself relax and enjoy your impromptu holiday. The Ruins were quiet, the food was always good- even Toriel's snail pies weren't as bad as you thought they would be- and you enjoyed the monster's company, even if she was a little more secretive about her own life than you would've liked. You hadn't yet found out why she lived on her own, other than the fact that someone had done her wrong a while ago, but she had also encouraged you not to seek out other monsters, which was worrying. As much as you were enjoying yourself, you couldn't stay forever. You had already lost track of the days- for all you knew, it could have already been a month before you decided to confront your host.

"You want to leave?" Toriel's expression was unreadable, but her tone was wounded. "I thought you were happy here."

"I am. You have been so kind to me, an outsider. But..." You meet her eyes across the table, fighting the urge to pull her into a hug. "I can't stay here for the rest of my life. I have to at least try to get home. And I would kinda like to meet other monsters."

Her gaze is pleading. "I've already told you, the barrier needs more than one soul to break it. The King will try to use your soul, and you will die. And not all monsters are as kind as I am. It's dangerous out there!"

"You said it would take one monster soul and one human soul," you argue. "So come with me. You're monster, I'm human, and together we can break the barrier, right?"

"I cannot leave the Ruins." Her voice has hardened, and you figure that this is a tender subject for her. "Not even for you."

"Why not?" you challenge.

"There are things beyond you, things that I must protect you from."

"Toriel." You stand up, hating having to defy your kind host. "I am an adult. You can't make me stay forever."

She looks up at you, and you see her expression change to something like realisation. It's a while before she speaks again, and her voice is strained, like she's holding back tears. "I'm sorry. You're right. I didn't mean..."

"I know." There's an uneasy lump that's settled in your stomach, and you wonder how many times she's had this argument. "Toriel... There's stories about children disappearing on the mountain once in a while. Do you ever...?"

"They fell, like you." She closes her eyes tightly, pained. "I have seen 6 human children fall. I take care of them for as long as I can, but every time... they want to leave. And that's the last I ever see of them."

"And you think something bad happened to them? You told me that the monsters weren't murderous."

"They're not- at least, not naturally. But desperation is a powerful thing. Even if the humans made it through the Underground, they would eventually confront the king. And he-" she stops, tears welling up in her large, dark eyes. A few shaky breaths, then, "He would not show mercy."

"Not even to children?"

"Not even to children."

You can't think of anything else to say. The news is difficult to take, but the decision you have already made is even more so. 

Dinner continues in silence, but neither you nor Toriel seem to be hungry anymore.

***

It takes you another day to work up the nerve. Finally, when the house is dark and you're sure she's sleeping, you shoulder your backpack and tiptoe up the hallway and down the stairs that she refused to let you near for your entire stay.

The pitch blackness is tripping you out, your eyes constantly searching for anything to latch onto. You're not sure what you're walking into, but you trail your hand along the wall and force yourself to keep going. There has to be an end to this. There has to be a way out.  
How long is this basement?

You're about to give up hope and turn around, prepared to try again in the morning, but there's suddenly movement somewhere down the passage. You slow down, and just as you start to call out, your vision is filled with light.

When your eyes adjust, Toriel is standing in front of a giant door, fireball in hand. She doesn't look angry, but surprisingly subdued.

You approach slowly, watching for any sign that she might attack you, but there is none. She simply waits.  
"How did you know?"

She smiles ruefully and avoids the question. "I wanted to make sure you're ready."

You raise an eyebrow.

"I do this with everyone who wants to leave. It is a simple test, to reassure myself that you have the skills necessary. Please do not panic."

You feel a familiar pull, and despite her words, your heart squeezes in fear. The cartoon heart- your soul- is drawn out of your chest. "Wha- Tori-"

"Get ready to dodge," is all she says, and then suddenly the fireball is hurled towards you. The undignified shriek that leaves your mouth echoes around the passage as you barely jump out of the way. Two more fireballs fly towards you and you dodge, adrenaline kicking in.

Toriel speeds up her attacks, throwing fire as fast as she can, and you're only just able to stay on your feet as you try to avoid being singed. The passage flashes orange and purple, your shadows dancing on the walls. 

Distracted, you stumble to your knees and a fireball slams into your exposed soul, ripping a scream out of your throat as pain rockets through your body before abruptly fading away. Panting, you clamber to your feet and face your host, sweating heavily.

Toriel stares back at you, panting as well, and you realise she's as tired as you are. You wait for her to attack again, but instead she steps forward, tears spilling over her furry cheeks. "I'm so sorry, _____. It was necessary. You fought well."

You can't quite follow the sudden change, heart still racing. "Wha- what? Are we done?"

"Yes." She bows her head and steps aside, and your soul sinks back into your chest. There's a vague feeling of an emptiness being filled. "You will survive a few days at least. Use them well."

You can... leave? Just like that? After all of that? 

Irritation replaces adrenaline and you want to yell, scream, lash out in some way because what the actual HELL is going on with this monster? but instead, you walk forward, eyes trained on the door. 

A hand brushes yours; you stop as she whispers a soft "good luck." 

Are you really just going to leave her like this? She's given you her home, her food, her company. She's kept you safe. She CARES about you. And you're going to leave without a word of thanks?

The guilt is too much. You turn and close the distance between you, wrapping your arms around her large frame. You feel her choke on a sob, and she hugs you tightly for a moment. You feel comfortable and safe in her arms, and there's a surge of sadness as you start to get the feeling that you probably won't see her again.

When you let her go, she holds her head high, and looks almost regal in the remaining firelight. You bow your head to her, and turn to the door again. It's cold as you push on it. Freezing. You push hard, and you're greeted with frigid, fresh air as it opens onto a world of white. 

You're still walking as you're eyes adjust, and when you're finally able to make out the snowy landscape and the looming forest, the doors have closed behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snowdin! Can we last longer than the six children?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You leave. And arrive. And somehow, find a home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys!

You walk. Or rather, trudge.

Your simple hoodie, jeans and tank top are NOT cut out for snow, and your sneakers are almost immediately soaked as you wade through the ankle-deep powder. 

Cursing your lack of foresight and Toriel's lack of warning, you wrap your arms tightly around your body and try to walk fast, hoping the exercise will prevent hyperthermia. You're not sure if you'll last very long out here- you're already shivering, and you can't feel your toes. You'd like to have a few choice words with the genius who decided to make it snow underground.

"Magic has gone too far," you mutter aloud, your breath puffing out in clouds. A sudden sound makes you pause; you turn and see the empty path you've been walking on, no one in sight. Shaking your head, you continue on. It's perfectly reasonable for you to mistake the blood pounding in your ears for footsteps, you think. You've already been through enough.

The path stretches on, in front and behind. It must lead somewhere helpful, but will you last that long? Your fingers are numb now, and you blow on them, trying and failing to warm up. Toriel comes to your mind for a moment- what you would do to have someone with fire powers around right now... The thought of returning briefly rises, but you immediately squash it down. You've hurt her enough already, and you wouldn't want to get her hopes up. Plus, you have your pride.

You cough, freezing air rough in your lungs. Is your pride worth dying for? 

You stop and look behind you again. You no longer see the entrance to the Ruins, but you know you could probably make it back alright. But would you be able to get back in? Would she LET you in? Would she even hear you?

"GodDAMN it." You rub your hands together, stomp your feet in frustration, and set off at a brisk pace. You'll be fine. You can do this. You plow down the icy path, kicking a stick out of your way and glaring at the horizon. 

A few seconds later, a sharp CRACK sounds behind you. You whirl around, heart racing, and spy the now-broken stick lying where you kicked it.

"What-?" You try to peer past the trees, but the shadows reveal nothing. Now properly spooked, you set off at a jog, kicking up the icy powder as you go. You're not sure what you're running from, or if you'll find any kind of relief at the end of the path, but your logic has gone out the window now. You just run, wheezing as your chest grows tight from both panic and over-exercise.

What is that in the distance? Your eyes are starting to blur, but you think it might be a shelter. You nearly sigh in relief, but in that moment you hear another sound from the trees. You put on a burst of speed, adrenaline kicking in, and in your haste you almost fail to notice that it isn't a shelter, but a wide, useless fence. You start to slow down, breath coming in gasps, and then-

You feel a pull in your chest, and you freeze. Not by choice; your body suddenly refuses to move. And behind you, footsteps crunch in the snow. 

This is it. This is how you die. You should never have left Toriel. You're going to be devoured by a hungry monster, and your soul will be ripped out and taken to the king-

"Human."

You're not ashamed to admit that you nearly wet your pants. The gruff, deep voice sounds exactly what you thought a bringer of death would sound like.

"Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

What?

"Turn around and shake my hand."

The pressure in your chest lifts, and your body is released from whatever was holding it- magic? You slowly turn around and see a figure shrouded in shadow, hand extended. With no other option available, you do as they say.

A deep fart sound echoes around you, and the shadow lifts, revealing a grinning skeleton. You stare, still grasping his -?- hand, as he chuckles. "Heh, the old whoopie-cushion in the hand trick. Always funny." Blinking rapidly, you withdraw your hand, and he holds up the device with a wink. "Totally worth the gold, just to see your face." When you don't say anything, he shrugs and continues. "Anyway, you're a human, right? That's hilarious. I'm Sans. Sans the skeleton. I'm actually supposed to be watching for humans right now, but... you know... I don't really care about capturing anybody."

You're hardly listening. How can you, faced with a walking, talking skeleton? He's a little shorter than you, his puffy blue jacket making him appear bulky, and his eye holes are comically large. How is his skull moving like that? It's almost like he's made out of clay, instead of bone. You're pretty sure human skeletons aren't supposed to look like that, but then, this isn't a human. Mindlessly, you reach over and poke his face, halting whatever he's saying as he starts in surprise. It definitely feels like bone.

"Hey!" He bats your hand away. "Getting a little handsy there. How would you like it if I poked YOU in the face?"

"I-I wouldn't feel it." You're teeth are starting to chatter, and you can feel the cold starting to seep into your bones now that you're no longer moving. "I'm a small capsicum."

"A what?"

"You know," you pause and wink for effect, "a little chilly?"

He stares for a moment, before grinning even wider and bursting into laughter. Your own giggles border on hysterical, your whole body shaking. At least your death will come on a light note. 

"SANS!" 

The voice carries through the air, full of indignation. You both turn to see another skeleton, this one much taller than both of you, stalking towards you.

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT BOONDOGGLING ON DUTY?"

Your companion eyes you, then shrugs. "Sorry, bro."  
The taller one stops, hands on hips -pelvic bones?- narrowing his eye-holes at him. "WHAT IF A HUMAN HAD COME BY WHILE YOU WERE CHATTING? YOU LAZYBONES! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DESIGNING YOUR TRAPS!"

You feel a little light-headed. It doesn't look like you'll be facing death anytime soon, especially if this other skeleton doesn't even recognise you as a human. Now that the danger has passed and the two monsters are bantering, the stress and exhaustion are starting to catch up with you. You just want to sit down, or maybe nap somewhere. Even the ground would do at this point.

As the thought of resting crosses your mind, your legs suddenly lose their strength, and you let yourself fall to the ground. The snow soaks into your clothes immediately, and you wrap your arms around yourself uselessly, shivering violently.

"OH NO! SANS, YOUR FRIEND IS ILL!" The tall one is at your side immediately, shaking your shoulder. "FRIEND! TELL THE GREAT PAPYRUS HOW TO CARE FOR YOU!"

"Come on, bro. Let's get them somewhere warm." You feel another set of hands grab your arm, and you squeeze your eyes shut as a wave of dizziness washes over you.

***

The next thing you know, you're lying on something soft, and you're warmer than before. You crack open your eyes and stare at the wooden ceiling. You're not dead- that's a relief, you suppose. But then, where ARE you?

Your eyes wander over the living room, noting the large TV and the side tables scattered with random items. Their house, obviously. You snort at yourself and try to struggle out of the blankets you appear to be wrapped in. You're still quite weak, and you're still wearing your cold, wet clothes, so manuvering yourself upright is somewhat of a challenge.

You can hear voices from another room, and you wonder if it's worth your while to try and escape before they come to check on you. Even if they didn't try to kill or capture you, Toriel's warnings still stand. They will probably try to take your soul eventually, right? It's only a matter of time...

The blankets are wrapped around your legs, and you try to kick them off while reaching for your backpack, which has been set on the floor next to the couch. Wet jeans and sneakers are not the best for this activity. You end up kicking yourself off the couch, landing heavily on the floor.

The two skeleton monsters rush in from what you suspect is the kitchen, and the taller one kneels by your side. "YOU'RE AWAKE! HOW DO YOU FEEL?"

You blink up at him, slightly dazed from the fall. "Uh, b-better? I don't really know what happened."

"You fainted, i think." Sans scratches his skull, eying you from a distance. "We took you home."

"NOW THAT I KNOW YOU'RE OKAY, I'LL FIX YOU SOME HEALING SPAGHETTI!" Your tall friend dashes off, and you hear pots and pans banging from the kitchen. Sans winces and steps towards you.

"He doesn't know you're a human, obviously. Might be best to not tell him. Paps can get very... enthusiastic... about his job."

"I noticed." You shiver, your damp clothes sticking to you uncomfortably. "Sorry to be a pain, but my clothes are still pretty wet..."

"Gotcha." And right before your eyes, Sans snaps his fingers and... disappears. Before you can wrap your head around what happened, he's back, handing you a pile of clothes and a towel. "Come on, I'll show you the bathroom."

You manage to untangle yourself and clamber to your feet, and he leads you upstairs to an almost-hidden door. You thank him and lock it behind you, marvelling at the fact that skeleton monsters living in the Underground have a bathroom. Do they even need to use it?

The bathroom has all the facilities you need. Toriel's place had only a bathtub, and you rarely needed to wash yourself anyway. Since falling, you never really got very dirty. Magic food didn't leave much behind to be expelled, which also meant you hadn't had to brush your teeth in a while either. Your clothes were also in surprisingly good condition. All in all, hygiene had begun to fall by the wayside, and Toriel hadn't noticed, so you rolled with it.

The point is, you had forgotten how good a hot shower feels. When you finally step out of the steamy room, dressed in a variation of what you had been wearing before, you feel refreshed but sleepy. Also, you can smell smoke.

You hurry downstairs and come to a stop in front of the kitchen. Sans is hosing down the stove with a fire extinguisher, and Paps is rocking on his heels nervously in a corner. When he sees you, he wails, rushes past you and DIVES out of a living-room window.

It takes you a moment to register what happened. You stare at the shattered glass, open-mouthed, feeling another hysterical laughing fit coming on. "He just- the window-"

"I know. It's fine. He does it all the time." Sans eyes the stove as if it might burst back into flames at any moment, and shrugs helplessly. "Remember what I said about enthusiasm?"

What have you gotten yourself into?

"Hey." He approaches you slowly, like you would a wounded animal. Do you really look that vulnerable? "Since dinner doesn't seem to be working out, how about I take you somewhere else to eat?"

Your stomach grumbles at the mention of food, and you wince. "I guess that sounds good." You look down at your bare feet, remembering that your shoes are still soaking wet, and frown. "How far-"

"Don't worry, I know a shortcut." He reaches for you, and you allow him to take your hand. "Hold on."

You do. The room shimmers, and is replaced by something else. Your skin prickles as you breathe through the dizziness, and you look around once your vision clears. You're now in the doorway of some kind of retro, rustic-themed bar. The wood is smooth and warm under your feet. In fact, the whole bar is warm and smells faintly of smoke- not the alarming kind, but the smell of a bonfire on a cold night. You soon realise why- polishing glasses at the bar is a person made of fire.  
Sans pulls you forward, still holding your hand, and greets the different monsters you walk past. They all say hello, not even batting an eyelid (or relevant body part) at you, and you realise that not many monsters must know what a human actually looks like, otherwise they wouldn't be so friendly. You try not to stare at the dogs in armor or gelatinous creatures that inhabit the place, and take your seat at the bar when Sans motions you to do so.

"What would you like?" he asks. "Burger? Fries?"

"Fries, please." 

He nods at the fire-person. "Two serves of fries please, Grillby. And ketchup."

'Grillby' nods and walks away, presumably to the kitchen. You straighten out your borrowed hoodie and play with the strings, eyeing the skeleton next to you. "So..."

"So..." he echoes, matching your curious gaze. "I don't think I caught your name."

"I don't think I threw it." You hold out you hand. "I'm _____. Thank you for, you know, not capturing me."

He shakes your hand, without a whoopie cushion this time, and you hold on a bit longer than you're supposed to just to examine it. You remember mucking around with a display skeleton in science class once, but this one doesn't feel like plastic. His hands are smooth and solid, held together by goodness-knows-what. It's fascinating.

He lets you study his hand, and when you give it back, he's grinning. "I see you haven't come to grips with the fact that I'm a skeleton yet."

The pun is so unexpected that you snort loudly in amusement. "Oh my GOD."

"What, can't hand-le the truth?"

"Stop."

"But I don't like to keep all these puns up my sleeve."  
"Okay, you went out on a limb for that one."

He blinks, somehow. Looks like he wasn't expecting you to join in. "I gotta hand it to you. You could become old hand at this."

"Don't overplay your hand, skeleton man."

"Nah, I'm not quite ready to throw my hands up yet."

"Ugh." You lay your head down on the bench, giving up. "I'm too tired to think of any more puns. I guess you win. Hands down."

He chuckles as your fries are brought out. You look up at the bartender and wonder how his clothes aren't catching on fire. His features are very faint, but he appears to be very good looking. Now you're wondering whether it's possible to hook up with a literal fire monster. You look away, telling yourself that it's just the heat emanating from him that is colouring your cheeks. Checking out monsters now- well done. 

The fries are good, crispy outside and soft within. When you try to add some ketchup, the lid falls off and douses your plate in goop. Sans is happy to swap with you, and him eating ketchup-drenched fries is weird for 2 seconds before he takes a swig from the bottle. He laughs at your horrified stare and offers it to you, which you, of course, refuse.

"So," you begin, working through your food. "I just have to ask- why haven't you tried to capture me yet?"

"Told you, wasn't feeling up to it."

"But here's the thing- I know about the needing-human-souls-to-break-the-barrier thing. I was expecting to have to fight for my life. How can you not be up to freeing your people?"

His eyes seem to go dark for a moment. His voice, mercifully, stays quiet. "You seem to know an awful lot for someone who's just arrived."

"I've been Underground for weeks. I was staying in the Ruins. The person living there told me what to expect."

"Hmm." His eyelights come back, but they're smaller now. "The person in the Ruins made me promise to protect any human who came through. I guess you've got someone looking out for you, hey kid?"

The warmth in your chest is overshadowed by sadness. Toriel really had cared for you, and you're not sure when the guilt of leaving her is going to fade. "You know her?"

"Well..." He scratches his skull and looks a little sheepish. "Kind of? It's a funny story, but we talk through the door sometimes. She likes her puns, heh."

"She has a whole book of them in her room."

He chuckles. "Why am I not surprised."

You laugh and nod, and the conversation slips into silence. The fries really are delicious, and you're not sure if you'll ever get used to the way monster food goes down- it never really makes it to your stomach, but is absorbed as energy on the way down. Great for your hips. You're pretty sure you've lost some weight in the last few weeks.

When your food is gone, Sans speaks up again. "What is your purpose here, _____?"

The question is unexpected and you suddenly feel nervous. "Y-you mean here in town, or the Underground in general?"

"Both."

"Well, I fell down here accidentally." You don't want to tell him that you were, in fact, specifically looking for the monsters in the first place. "And I was told that the only way to get home is to break the barrier, so that's why I left the Ruins. But I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, and I don't want to get there and not have a plan, so... that's why I'm still here, I guess."

Sans studies you with a sleepy yet piercing gaze, leaning on his elbow. To anyone else, he would probably look completely relaxed. To you, he's probing. "I need you to be honest with me. Trust me, I'll know if you're not." He pauses to make sure you're listening. "Do you intend any hostility to the people down here?"

"Of course not!"

"And if faced with hostility?"

"I would try to get out of it as quickly as possible."

"Hmm." He nods. "You seem honest. I checked your stats while you were sleeping, and everything checks out."

"You did what now?" Whatever it is, it sounds slightly invasive.

"How to explain..." He frowns. "You know about souls, right?" You nod. "Well, your stats are readings I can take from your soul, that show what kind of person you are. Your defense, attack capabilities, how many lives you may have taken, how much hope and health you have, that kind of thing. You understand?"

You nod again. It sounds pretty simple to you.

"According to all that, you're fine. Ordinary HP, low LV, high curiosity. I hope you'll stay that way."

"So do I." You have many questions, but a long yawn interrupts your thoughts. Now that you've eaten, you're truly aware of how exhausted you are. "I'm sorry, Sans, but I'm really tired. Do you know where I could sleep tonight?"

"There is an inn, if you've got a spare 80 G."

Do you have that much gold? You did fight a lot of small monster back in the Ruins, but you also bought a lot of donuts from that spider web you had found. And you did leave a handful of coins on your bed for Toriel as a thank you gift. Your bag is back at their house, but you don't think you have that much anyway. At least, not if you want to buy food tomorrow.

Sans sees your hesitation and shrugs nonchalantly. "I suppose you could stay the night with us, if you're ok with sleeping on the sofa."

Your heart leaps, partly from joy at not having to spend money, and partly from nerves. Staying with the skeleton monsters... not something you were expecting this morning. "The sofa would be perfect, but I don't want to impose..."

He waves a bony hand. "It's fine. I wouldn't offer if it wasn't. Kinda wanted to keep an eye on ya, anyway."

"Fair enough." You push your empty plate away and give Grillby a wave. "Thanks, man. Good fries."

He dips his head in acknowledgement as you and Sans slip off out of you seats. Sans nods back with a grin. "Just put it on my tab, Grillbz."

Does Grillby frown at this? You're pretty sure he does. This must be a regular occurrence.

Sans leads you towards the doorway, and with a flash and another wave of dizziness, you're walking back into their home. Papyrus is currently sweeping the last of the glass from the window he broke into a dustpan. The window has somehow been replaced already. You want to ask, but the answer will probably be 'magic'.

Sans walks past his brother and pats him on the shoulder. "Good job, bro. You're so cool. ______ is gonna be staying the night, by the way."

Papyrus' eyes light up. Literally. His excitement shines out like a beacon as he gasps, leaps up and pulls you into a hug. "A SLEEPOVER! WITH MY NEW FRIEND! SHOULD WE INVITE UNDYNE TOO?"

"No!" Sans' haste make it obvious that this Undyne person would probably recognise you. "No, bro, just us tonight, ok? Don't wanna freak her out.”

"OH. THAT IS VERY SMART. NEXT TIME THEN." He sets you down and you try to get your breath. His arms are very strong, and he is very tall. You want to remind him that you're a squishy human, but that probably wouldn't go down well right now.

You make your way over and collapse onto the sofa. It's lumpy, but still comfortable. You've had worse. "I'm just gonna," *yawn* "catch some Zs, guys. Don't mind me."

"C'mon, Paps. Let's let her get some rest." Sans beckons his brother upstairs, and Paps follows him out, tiptoeing comically. You smile at the sight and pull a still slightly-damp blanket over you. Again, you've had worse. And you're much too tired to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably a little OOC. Remember that this is before Frisk and not everything is the same. 
> 
> Now that the intro chapters are out of the way, the story is gonna get a lot more interesting... Hehehehe....


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home alone in a strange world, and what do you do?

You sleep well that night, despite the lumps in the sofa. It's been a stressful 48 hours, and your exhausted mind and body are grateful for the uninterrupted rest. Your dreams are nonsensical and slip away the moment you gain consciousness, and you try to snuggle further into the blankets to keep hold of that last hint of sleep before life starts again.

You hear Paps- is that really his name?- calling Sans, threatening to drag him out of bed, and you grin at the almost rehearsed complaints. It sounds like this is their morning routine, and that Sans likes his sleep-ins as much as you do. You crack an eye open as the taller skeleton stomps down the stairs, then remembers the guest in the living room and tries to walk more quietly. You have to muffle a giggle at the sight of the gangly guy trying to tiptoe past you, and he must notice the movement, because he glances at you and freezes.

"AH, YOU ARE AWAKE! I AM GOING TO MAKE BREAKFAST, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME?"

"Yes please." You throw off your blankets and stretch, wincing at the way your joints pop and crack. 

The skeleton takes a step back, a horrified expression on his bony face, and flees to the kitchen before you have a chance to ask what's wrong. You shake your head, grinning at his exaggeration reactions, and reach for your backpack, pulling out a half-full water bottle. The water clears the sleepy fog from your head, and you run your fingers through your hair, suddenly aware of the lack of a hairbrush. You had borrowed Toriel's when you needed to, but you're pretty sure the boys won't own hair products in general. Annoyed, you twist your tangled bed-hair into a bun (thank goodness you always carry a hair-tie) and straighten out your clothes.

"Sorry I didn't offer any pajamas." Sans blinks lazily at you from the stairs, chuckling when he sees that he startled you. "I, uh, only have the one pair."

"It's fine. I was too tired to care." Basketball-esque shorts aren't really that comfortable to sleep in, but you managed it. "Thanks again for letting me stay the night."

He shrugs, dragging his feet towards the kitchen. "Hospitality and suspicion are a good mix, I suppose."

"Oh." What can you say? He did admit to being suspicious of your motives last night. You're not upset at this, nor surprised. There's only one way to gain trust, and you intend to do it. "For once I'm grateful for someone's lack of trust. It got me a bed."

"Heh. Funny how things work out." He shuffles past you, and you follow him into the kitchen, where his brother is throwing raw spaghetti into a pot on the stove while simultaneously trying to mash tomatoes. You wonder if there is ever a day Sans doesn't fear for his life when Paps is in the kitchen, but he doesn't seem bothered. He simply grabs a carton of milk from the fridge, takes a gulp, and offers it to you. You're about to refuse, but you figure you might as well get some kind of start to the day. Spaghetti might not be a very edible breakfast this morning, if the waterless pot of pasta is anything to go by. You drink the milk, the tingles associated with magic-based food a little weird on your tongue still. Hey, at least you'll have strong bones.

"SANS! STOP TEACHING YOUR FRIEND BAD HABITS! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT USING A GLASS?"

"Sorry bro. Guess I just make pour decisions, huh?"

Paps turns around slowly, one of his eyeholes twitching in aggravation. "It's too early for this, Sans."

Sans chuckles and shuts the fridge, shaking his head. "Okay, sorry. I'll let you cook in peace."

"Uh is that a good idea-" the look he gives you makes you backtrack immediately. "I mean... Hey Paps, why don't you try putting water in the pot?"

"REALLY?" He glances doubtfully between you and the pot. "ARE YOU SURE THATS A GOOD IDEA?"

"I'm positive. It'll make the pasta softer and easier to eat."

He seems to trust you. When the spaghetti is boiling properly and more definitely not on fire, he pauses between mutilating vegetables and gives you a wide smile. "THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE! THE SPAGHETTI DEFINITELY LOOKS SOFTER ALREADY."

You can't stop yourself from smiling back, a warm feeling settling in your soul. 

******

Breakfast is still a disaster. The pasta is still crunchy in some places, the vegetables are tasteless, and there seems to be chunks of ice mixed in. You manage a few bites before realising that Sans is disappearing his food somehow. Paps watches you intently during the meal, waiting for your approval, and you try your best to keep a positive front. If Sans' sharp gaze is anything to go by, it's probably best to praise his brother for his effort and be done with it.

The boys leave after breakfast. Paps bounds out the door with all the excitement and grace of a puppy, shouting about 'training with Undyne', and Sans follows slowly behind him.

"Don't leave the house," he tells you before he leaves. "I don't know who would recognise you and who wouldn't, and you don't want to get lost. I'll make sure Papyrus doesn't tell Undyne about you, too. See you later."

You shut the door behind him, a little annoyed at being stuck again, but you're sure this isn't meant to be permanent. For now, you decide to check what's on TV.

******

The Underground doesn't seem to have that many channels, but luckily, you're easily entertained. You settle down to watch a quiz show hosted by a box-shaped robot, and you're quickly enamored. He (you assume it's a he, considering the masculine-sounding voice, but you wouldn't stake your life on that) is witty and flirty, throwing kisses to the audience and complimenting everyone he speaks to, as well as himself. Not only is the show amusing, it's also quite informative, and you end up with more knowledge of history and common knowledge of the Underground than you expected.

Midday rolls around, and you end up snooping through the kitchen cupboards for something to eat while the TV plays in the background. Among the pasta ingredients and strange-looking fruits, you find a packet of candy in the back of the cupboard, and a greasy paper bag in the fridge. The latter holds a burger and fries, and after some deliberation, you decide to cut the burger in half and save the rest for its actual owner. Maybe you'll cook dinner tonight to appease the boys and apologise for stealing food. You're not the best cook, but anything has to be better than Papyrus's cooking, right?

With half a burger, a handful of fries and a ketchup bottle, you dance back to the couch and settle down to a movie, starring the same robot. Most of it involves him swimming in rose petals. You're confused, but you don't want to turn it off.

You must doze off at some point, because suddenly you're aware that the movie has changed, your food is gone, and the light outside is dimming. You rub your eyes and head to the kitchen, pulling out ingredients for dinner, trying to remember a pasta recipe that won't end in disaster. 

Music starts playing from the TV, and the robot begins to sing. He's a real all-round entertainer, and you ain't even mad that he's the only content you've seen today. The music is dancey and techno, and you can't help but dance. You boogie around the kitchen, chopping veggies and boiling pasta, wondering how Papyrus could get an easy recipe so wrong.

'Papyrus... Sans... Huh.' It's taken you all day, but your brain finally clicks with the names. You giggle to yourself. "They're named after fonts!"

"Something funny about that?"

You jump and only just avoid cutting your finger off. "Shit dude, don't you know not to scare someone with a knife?"

"Sorry." Sans eyes you curiously from the doorway. "Why are you cooking?"

"To thank you." You check the pasta and turn down the stove, then shrug. "And uh, also to say sorry for eating half your burger."

"What? Oh that. Nah, I left that for you."

You frown. "When? You didn't bring anything home last night."

He shuffles past you and dips his boney finger in the sauce that you just finished. "Earlier today. When I popped in to check on you."

"I didn't see-"

He licks his finger, nodding. "I teleported. Like last night. I wanted to make sure you weren't getting into trouble. This is good sauce, by the way."

You say nothing, unable to find fault with the slightly creepy knowledge that he was spying on you. You are a guest, and a suspicious one at that. And you weren't doing anything suspicious anyway, so there's no guilt or embarrassment worth feeling. "I could've been changing or something," you mutter finally. The 'or something' can mean many things, but you'll think about that more later.

"Eh, but you weren't. Glad to see you were entertained all day."

"Yeah, well..." You pause and listen to the TV, which has now switched to the news, read by guess who? "This robot guy is funny."

"Heh, Paps likes him too. I don't see the appeal." He cocks his head and grins wider. "Ah, speaking of..."

The door bursts open and Papyrus just about throws himself into the house. "SANS, IM HOME!" A glance at the two of you and he claps his hands excitedly. "AND OUR FRIEND IS STILL HERE! HELLO!"

You wave, unable to stop the smile from spreading across your cheeks. His enthusiasm is just so infectious! "Welcome home, Papyrus! Dinner is almost ready."

He gasps and rushes into the kitchen, peering into the pots of food. "YOU COOKED? COULD THIS BE? HAS YOUR ADMIRATION OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS' SKILLS PROMPTED YOU TO IMITATE ME?"

There's a pause as you're lost for words and Sans glares at you from behind his brother. Does he seriously want you to help enlarge Papy's already huge ego? You decide to have a serious talk with him later, but for now, you look up at the waiting skeleton and grin. "Sure did! Let's serve it up and see how I did, huh?"

It seems to do the trick. "I WILL SET THE TABLE!" 

He dashes around the kitchen and living room, setting plates and cutlery on the coffee table, and you raise an eyebrow at Sans. He shrugs and heads out of the kitchen, and you sigh and finish the dinner. At least everyone will get edible food tonight.

It's actually more than edible, actually. You did a good job. Sans doesn't disappear anything (you watch him closely) and though Papyrus scrutinises every bite, he downs it like food is going out of fashion, so you count dinner as a success.

"YOU MADE A VALIANT EFFORT, BUT IM AFRAID THE LACK OF ICE OR GLITTER DOES YOU A DISSERVICE, MY FRIEND. IF YOU LIKE, I CAN PROVIDE THE TRAINING NECESSARY TO ADVANCE YOUR SKILLS."

You nearly choke on your mouthful, squinting up at him to decide whether he's joking or not. Apparently, he's serious. You swallow and nod, not wanting to risk pissing off his brother. "Yeah. Maybe. I'll see."

"NYEH HEH HEH! I HAVE AN APPRENTICE!"

You blink and go back to your food, unwilling to try and comprehend what is going on right now. 

Psychoanalysing your hosts can wait another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch TV, of course!
> 
> Obviously kinda filler. More interesting stuff coming soon I promise.


	5. Chapter 5 (nsfw)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You learn. And worry. And use your toothbrush in a manner other than prescribed.
> 
> (Nsfw warning.)

This was not the sort of crazy that you were expecting to run into when you first fell Underground, but it beats fighting for your life.

Mind you, cooking with Papyrus doesn't seem to be much different.

"Wait, what are you-?" You flinch and watch in horror as he wildly swings the knife down over the tomatoes, splattering everyone and everything with red juice. He had woken you up early for 'training', and you were starting to wish you had stayed in your blanket burrito and pretended to be asleep. Then again, at least you could prevent the kitchen from catching on fire if the need arose...

"I'M CUTTING VEGETABLES, CANT YOU SEE?" He pants a little as he steps back and surveys the mess. "FIRST RULE OF COOKING- BE ENTHUSIASTIC!"

"Pretty sure that's not-" 

"UNDYNE LIKES TO PRETEND SHE'S FIGHTING A DREADED ENEMY, LIKE A HUMAN, AND PUTS ALL HER ENERGY INTO THE FOOD. THATS HOW TO GET AMAZING FOOD- AND SHE SHOULD KNOW! SHE'S CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD AND SHE'S GOOD AT EVERYTHING!"

You blink, slowly catching up to what he's saying. "Is that so?"

"IT IS SO! WATCH AS I WRANGLE THESE VEGETABLES INTO SUBMISSION!"

You step out of reach as he goes to town on the vegetables, but you still get splattered by pulp and seeds. Deciding to just let it happen, you check on the boiling pasta- the one thing you convinced him that you do better. It's boiling normally, to your satisfaction, so at least the horrifying concoction he serves won't be crunchy.

Shaking bits of tomato and spinach out of your hair, you wait for him to finish destroying the kitchen before saying anything. "So, uh, humans are yo- our dreaded enemies, huh?"

"OH, YES." He scrapes whatever is left from his frenzy into a saucepan and sets it on the stove. "THEY ARE THE ONES THAT TRAPPED US DOWN HERE, AFTER ALL. AND IF ONE FALLS DOWN HERE AND I CATCH THEM, I'LL FINALLY MAKE THE ROYAL GUARD!"

He's turned the stove all the way up, so you turn it down half way. "How do you propose to do that? You've never seen one before, right?"

"THAT IS TRUE." He pulls out a bowl and heads to the front door. "BUT UNDYNE ASSURES ME I'LL KNOW THEM IF I SEE THEM, AND I DO PATROL THE WOODS FAIRLY OFTEN, SO IF ONE DOES COME, I'M READY."

You nod, following him outside, then stop and hug yourself from the cold. "Wait, are we putting ice in the food again?"

"BUT OF COURSE. ON 'COOKING WITH A KILLER ROBOT', METTATON SUGGESTS ALWAYS ADDING SOMETHING A LITTLE EXTRA TO YOUR MEAL TO GIVE IT A LITTLE 'OOMF'."

You don't know whether to laugh or cry, but one thing you do know is that Papyrus sounds incredibly cute when imitating the robot. "A little what now?"

"OOMF."

You're giggling now. "Say again?"

"OOMF." He holds his bowl of ice in one arm and puts his hand on his hip, narrowing his eyes at you. "ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? I'M SAYING IT RIGHT, AREN'T I?"

You school your expression. "Yes, you're saying it perfectly."

"OF COURSE I AM. THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS NEVER WRONG." He marches inside, head high, and you follow him to the kitchen again. He checks the pots on the stove and makes a disapproving noise at the one you turned down. "NOW, THAT WON'T DO." He turns it up to high heat again, and before you can do anything, the saucepan catches on fire. He nods in satisfaction. "MUCH BETTER."

"What- It's not supposed to be on fire like that!" you cry, grabbing the bowl of ice and throwing it into the pan. 

The flame fizzles out, and you turn the heat down again. Peering inside, you see that the sauce is now a blackened mess.

"I SUPPOSE IT IS CHARRED ENOUGH, BUT YOU COULD HAVE LET IT SIMMER A LITTLE MORE."

You facepalm, and take a moment to collect yourself. "Ok. Sorry. I panicked because the stove was literally on fire and it wasn't very safe." Understatement of the century right there.

"ITS OK, FRIEND." He pats your shoulder comfortingly. "NOT EVERYBODY IS AS COMFORTABLE WITH FIRE AS I AM. I HANDLE THIS KIND OF THING AT LEAST ONCE A DAY!"

You believe him.

"ANYWAY, I BELIEVE THE PASTA IS NEARLY READY. SHALL WE GET OUT THE PLATES AND CUTLERY?"

"Sure thing." 

You find Sans standing outside the kitchen, watching the two of you finish making breakfast and serve it into plates. His expression is confused but vaguely relieved. You give him his plate of spaghetti and shrug apologetically. "I couldn't stop him from setting it on fire, but at least it's soft."

"Right..." 

You can't identify his tone, and it makes you feel nervous. You quickly take your plate to the coffee table and wait for the others to join you.

The spaghetti is slightly more palatable soft, but with the burnt, watery sauce and chunks of charred vegetables and ice, it's pretty much a disaster. You nibble on the plain parts and glare daggers at Sans, who once again vanishes his food without Papyrus noticing. The taller skeleton counts this meal as a success, of course, and eagerly asks if you learnt anything valuable under his instruction.

"Yeah... I'm sure I could replicate this..." you mumble, feeling guilty about the pretence.

"WONDERFUL! I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO SHARE THE UNDISCOVERED WORLD OF COOKING WITH!"

You think some things should stay undiscovered.

"I HOPE WE WILL BE ABLE TO DO THIS AGAIN. YOU ARE STAYING FOR A WHILE, RIGHT?"

You look up, unprepared for the question, and catch Sans' gaze. He seems to be debating something, but then shrugs and raises a browbone at you. You clear your throat. "Ah, sure. If you guys'll have me, that is."

"SURE WE CAN, RIGHT BROTHER?"

Sans nods. "Sure, bro."

"WELL, IF WE'RE GOING TO BE COOKING TOGETHER..." He stops, looking thoughtful, and glances over you. "HOW ARE YOU FEELING? HAVE YOU RECOVERED FROM THE OTHER DAY?"

Oh right, you're here because you fainted in the snow the day before yesterday. "Uh, better I guess? I just needed some rest, but I'm feeling ok now."

"HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT TRAINING? MY FRIEND UNDYNE HAS BEEN TRAINING ME IN STRENGTH, FITNESS AND COOKING, AND I BELIEVE YOU WOULD BENEFIT FROM JOINING US."

You feel a stab of panic- didn't Sans want to hide you from this Undyne? What would you do if they recognised you? You didn't feel ready to fight monsters yet, particularly one ranked as 'Captain of the Guard'. But how do you turn Papyrus down when he has such good intentions? You look to Sans for help, but he just shrugs. "Maybe it's a good idea."

What?! Isn't he supposed to protect you? You don't know how to answer now, and Papyrus is waiting, so you force a smile and tell him you'll think about it. He accepts this and decides to get going, promising to bring it up with Undyne.

As soon as he's gone, you grab Sans' jacket to prevent him from leaving. "What was that about?"

"Just what I said- it might be a good idea. You want to get out of here peacefully, right?"

You nod, unsure of where this is going.

"That means that at point you'll have to try and talk to the King. Why not practice convincing someone else first?"

The logic feels flawed to you, but you can't figure out how to refute it besides that fact that you're scared. You look away, frowning as a thick layer of uncertainty clouds your mind. "I, uh, I guess so. Maybe."

"Look, I'm just being practical here." He stands and heads to the kitchen with his plate, calling out behind him. "You might not succeed with Asgore. He might take your soul despite your efforts of peace. I'm sorry, but that is a possibility. Now with Undyne, there is also a possibility that she will attack you and take you straight to the king. Or she might listen, I don't know. It would be helpful to get her on your side, as she and the king are close and she might be able to sway him if you can't."

It did sound like a good idea when he put it like that. 

The uncertainty lifted somewhat, but was replaced by nervousness. You had forgotten that capture and/or death were an actual possibility down here. No, wait, focus. No point in getting scared now, you're already here. "Ok. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'll try."

He nods and waves to you as he slips out the door.   
"Good. See you later. Don't leave the house."

"I know," you call after him, but he's gone.

***

You clean the kitchen, take a shower, change into your own clothes, and settle down to watch TV again. But you're restless, and not even Mettaton, entertainment extraordinare, can keep you pinned to your seat for long. The looming knowledge that you could actually die sometime soon, or even if you step outside, is a little difficult to take in. You're not panicked by any means- after falling down a hole and facing a homicidal flower, the idea of dying has lost its novelty. You realise that it's actually the idea of leaving a safe-ish haven with people who at least tolerate you, if not care about you, that concerns you. These skeleton boys have actually endeared themselves to you in the 3 days that you've known them. Leaving them will be more difficult the longer you stay. Especially Papyrus. Sans has the potential to be a good friend, but you already consider Paps a friend. He's got an ego the size of Mt Ebott, but he's pure and real and sweet. If he cares about you like you do for him, you hate to think about how he'd be affected if anything happened to you.

Mind you, he probably doesn't. Despite his adorable qualities, he also strikes you as oblivious to some things. It doesn't help that Sans insists on humouring him. You'd like to figure out that dynamic, nosy bitch that you are.

Your pacing takes you upstairs and turns to curiosity as you catch sight of their bedroom doors. Time to live up to your title. You may be a guest and it may be incredibly rude to snoop on your hosts, but somehow etiquette seems to matter less when you're thinking about death and skeletons. Or maybe that's just you.

You push open the first door and are transported to... a 10 year old boy's dream bedroom? Amused, you wander in and take in the bright colours, childish decorating, action figures and a racecar bed. This could be Papyrus, but also you wouldn't put it past Sans. Actually... you glance around and smile, shaking your head. This is too clean for Sans. The action figures on the table are actually Mettaton in various poses. Sans did say he didn't like the robot, so this has to be Papy. Satisfied with your deductions, you examine the Mettaton toys, noting how clean and dusted the space is, and then wander to the computer in the corner. It opens onto a webpage- some kind of social media site by the look of it. The username at the top is 'CoolSkeleton95'- how original. You snigger and click around. His profile somehow has a negative amount of followers, and this fact makes you pause. Overlooking the impossibility of the figure, your confident, egotistical friend isn't actually popular. Which is weird, considering how surprisingly likeable he is. You feel a surge of affection that compels you to wrap him up in a blanket burrito and cuddle him forever, causing you to push away from the computer and try and focus on something else. Like peering in his closet like a creeper. Most of his clothes are orange, red or black, and you take out an orange sweater, its length suggesting that it would make a cute dress on you. You force yourself to put it back before you do something dumb like try it on or sniff it. Damn, life Underground must be seriously getting to you.

Needing a breather, you leave the room and continue on to Sans', only to find it locked. There's a brief flash of annoyance and suspicion, until you remember that you're not supposed to be up there in the first place and they don't owe you their bedrooms to snoop in.   
Fine, then. You'll find something else to entertain you.

***

There's another paper bag on the bench when you enter the kitchen again. The thought of Sans just popping in any old time without warning is unsettling, but at least you get free food. You wonder if he knew you were snooping. 

Mettaton is doing another quiz show, and you try to pay attention as you chow down on your burger and fries. Damn, Grillby is good at what he does. You had forgotten what surface food was like, but this came pretty close. Suddenly you're thinking about the surface again, and thoughts about your favourite milkshake place slowly turn into thoughts about getting out. Aaaaaaand now you're jittery again. Dammit. 

Frustrated, you turn off the TV and curl up on the couch, wishing your mind would stop running at a million miles an hour. You glance at your backpack, resting next to the sofa, and pull it into your lap. Is your phone still working? Maybe you could play some- No, it's flat. Of course. Your camera has a little power left, but you want to save that. Your searching hand grabs hold of your toothbrush, and suddenly you know just how to relax.

You don't even use it anymore, anyway. It should still have plenty of charge....

You press the button and it springs to life, and you grin. Sans and Papyrus shouldn't be home for another few hours, so you have plenty of time to enjoy yourself and still have dinner waiting for them. You dash over and shut all the curtains, then lock the door for good measure, and throw yourself back on the couch, pulling off your clothes. As your underwear joins the haphazard pile, you lie back and run your hands lightly down your body with a sigh. God, you missed this. Your time Underground has been too distracting to even think about pleasure, but now... what better way to relieve your stress?

Your nipples harden as you ghost your hands across your chest, goosebumps rising on your skin. You tease yourself, breathing deeply as you feel yourself start to moisten. Spreading your legs, you dip your hand down between them to brush your little nub of nerves, a spark striking inside you. 

"Mmmmm..."

You rub yourself in circles, your hips moving to meet your hand as you start to pant. Your fingers stray down further into your growing wetness, sliding the tips gently inside and then back up. You're deliciously slippery now- time to bring in the special guest.

You touch your the flat side of your buzzing toothbrush to a nipple, giggling at the sensation, then trail it downwards. The anticipation is making you even wetter, and you slip the head down against your pussy lips, biting back a moan as you edge closer to your clit. You're trying to move slowly, but your hips twitch and it brushes up against your clit, and you choke on a breathless moan.

You can't take it any more. You press the vibrating head firmly into your clit and your legs close around it as you gasp for air, jerking your hips uncontrollably as the intensity shoots through you in waves. God, how you missed this. You force your legs open again and dip down to coat the head, then back up again, back arching off the couch. The coil in your belly is winding tighter and tighter, and your mind is only pleasure. You can't control your body anymore, writhing and whining and choking on air. One of your hands searches for stability, something to hold onto as the vibrations send you wild with need for release. 

"Oh god... Oh Jesus God fUCK-" you let out a shriek as the pleasure breaks and rushes through your body, the force of it almost throwing you off the sofa. You've lost your toothbrush somewhere during the orgasm, but it doesn't matter anymore. You hold onto the couch, panting, sweating and breathing through the aftershocks. As your heartbeat slows, you laugh shakily, brushing your hair out of your face as you glance down at the sofa you just desecrated. There's a conspicuously damp spot where your butt was lying, but hopefully that is easily cleaned. Ugh, now you'll have to do damage control. You spend another few minutes recovering- damn, it really has been a while, hasn't it? But it was worth it. You definitely feel more relaxed now.

It's late afternoon when- after showering again, redressing, rubbing down the sofa with a wet towel and praying that the living room doesn't smell too much like sex- you find yourself in the kitchen, preparing to make dinner. Pasta again, but this time you'll provide ice and broken bits of raw spaghetti for whoever wants them. Papyrus should be satisfied with the extra 'oomf', right? 

When the boys come home, you've turned the TV on again and you're humming and swaying to Mettaton's latest music as you finish dinner. A flash of panic shoot through you as you notice Sans sniff the air, but he makes a comment on the food and you wave away your worry. Dinner is cheerful, and you smile and listen as Papyrus recounts his day and commends you for the extra thought your put into the food. All is right with the world, and nothing can possibly go wrong to mess it up.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...right...
> 
> Ok, yeah, the end was a bit rushed. But there's a little mischief to kick-start the nitty-gritty fun stuff, so who's gonna complain?  
> Stay turned for more shenanigans, sinners.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tiny bit of plot happens.

This was a terrible idea.

You had told everyone such this morning, but were unable to come up with an appropriate excuse for Papyrus that didn't involve him finding out you were human. Now, trailing behind him with Sans on your way to Waterfall, you huffed in frustration at the stupidity of the situation. 

The fact was, if Undyne recognised you as human, then Papyrus would find out. If Undyne then tried to kill you, Papyrus might stop her- or, he might not. You liked to think that you had a good rapport with the boys, but how would he react to the news that you had almost lied to him? Sans had agreed to stick around, but you weren't completely sure if he would care enough about you to save you from Undyne's wrath. 

In other words, today might be the day you die. You weren't afraid, but you were irritated that someone you liked was unknowingly leading you to your death. You wanted to blame Sans for this whole shebang, but honestly, you couldn't expect him to just drop everything and help you. He didn't trust you, and there was nothing that you could do about that. There was no time.

Your despondent thoughts kept you company as you trudged through the snow with a silent Sans, Papyrus chattering on up ahead about how cool Undyne was, how she was super strong and passionate, how she could lift half a dozen children and suplex boulders and had once burnt down her house, and friend are you feeling ok?

You blink snowflakes out of your eyelashes and stare up at him, coming back to earth suddenly. "Uh, what?"

"I ASKED IF YOU WERE OK. YOU SEEM VERY QUIET AND... BROODY."

Was he actually concerned about you? You let yourself smile at him, wondering why you wanted to reassure him when you were the one who was going to die soon. "I'm, uh, fine, Papyrus. Thanks. Just... cold."

"OH. WELL, WORRY NOT, BECAUSE WATERFALL IS JUST UP AHEAD, AND IT PROBABLY MORE SUITED TO YOUR TEMPERATURE TOLERANCE. LETS AWAY!"

You watch his retreating back and let an unexpected giggle escape as he swings his arms and nearly takes out a nearby tree. "He's so precious."

"Yeah. Coolest bro ever." Sans' grin almost matches yours, and despite his nonchalant attitude, you can tell that if there's anything he cares about, it'll be his brother.

"I'm not sure why you were hiding my species from him, but aren't you concerned now that he's about to find out?"

"Nah." He shrugs, but his expression is somewhat guarded. "He was gonna find out eventually. And I'm not gonna be taking the rap for it, you are."

You frown, a wave of worry washing over you. "But you'll stick around to pull me out of trouble, right?"

"Nope." At your fearful expression, he raises a brow-bone. "This is practice, remember. I'm not gonna be with you when you talk to the king, either. You need to convince them yourself."

You huff, crossing your arms tightly as the wind starts to pick up. "You're a prick. But I guess you're right."

"I have no idea what you just called me, but I probably don't wanna know."

You snicker, smothering a grin as you hasten to catch up with Papyrus. "I'll tell you when you're older."

***

The environment eventually changes. Snow gives way to slush, which turns into blue mud. The air becomes humid, although the temperature is still quite cool, but it's much easier to stand than the frigid air of Snowdin. You're past the point of questioning physics and reality when you see that the entire area is coloured in various shades of blue. Soft music floats through the area, along with the steady drip of water. You feel yourself becoming gradually calmer as you follow Papyrus deeper into the damp caverns. 

The three of you tramp through long grass and mud, past forks in the path that lead to different homes, past what looks like a small shop, through areas that are impressively beautiful, until finally, you end up at a fish-shaped home. Your anxiety ramps up as Papyrus flashes you a bright smile, unaware of the danger you're probably facing. "HERE WE ARE!"

He knocks forcefully, calling out to Undyne cheerfully, and you turn to Sans, panic flashing through you.

He steps back with a neutral expression. "Welp, now's your time to shine, kid."

"Sans, wait-"

You reach for him just as he shimmers out of existence, and the door opens.

"Pap, you're late, you bonehe-"

You turn as Undyne trails off, gaze fixed on you. Your first impression is that she is very blue. And fishy. And ripped.

And lunging at you from the doorway.

"HUMAN!" she shrieks, pushing past Papyrus and shoving you down with all her might. You find yourself screaming as she pins you down in the grass, overpowering you instantly. "PAPS! DRAW OUT HER SOUL, QUICKLY!"

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him falter, trying to make sense of the sudden situation. "UNDYNE, WHAT...? THIS IS MY FRIEND!"

"Your wHAT?" 

You take advantage of her confusion and aim a kick at her stomach, putting your whole weight behind it. Surprisingly, she flies off you and you scramble up, hands up. "Wait, please!"

Undyne leaps to her feet as soon as she hits the ground, a glowing teal spear appearing in her hand. Her eyes glint dangerously despite her wild grin, and you feel a tug in your chest as you back away. "She's stronger than the others. I'm gonna need your help, Papyrus. This is what all your training has been for."

He wrings his hands, the shock evident on his face. "B-BUT UNDYNE-"

The pressure mounts, and the little red heart pops out of your chest, just like it did so long ago with that crazy little flower. It casts a glow on your surroundings, and pulses with your heartbeat. You have an overwhelming urge to put it back in your chest, to hide it from prying eyes and protect it from that glowing spear that's coming right towards you-!

You shriek and duck, stumbling backwards and crumpling in pain as Undyne's spear grazes the edge of your soul. You can hear yourself begging her to stop, to wait, please, that you don't want to fight her, that this is all a big mistake, but she just laughs madly and summons another spear as your back hits the wall of her house.

"FOR FREEDOM!" she cries, and throws the spear. 

It pierces your soul, and the world fades to black.

***

/you didn't even try/

... What?

/you're not even that weak, you managed to kick her off. you could have beaten her easily/

What's going on? Where are you?

/you're nowhere. you're dead, for now, because you let her kill you. i can fix that, but you need to actually try this time/

The voice is young, although you're not sure how you know that. You can't actually hear it, but it echoes in your mind, filling the empty spaces where you suddenly realise your pulse should be.

/you're determined, but not enough. you have the power, if you care enough to use it. I can do it for you, but for god's sake stay alive this time, ok dummy?/

You can see your soul in front of you now, glowing a soft red. It glows brighter and brighter until the red fills your vision. There's ringing in your ears...

***

He knocks forcefully, calling out to Undyne cheerfully, and you gasp and stumble as if your legs had forgotten how to hold you up. 

"Welp, now's your time to-" Sans pauses, glancing around with a confused frown, before shrugging and vanishing into thin air. 

The door opens and you spin around in a panic, grabbing onto Papyrus.

"Pap, you're late, you bonehe-"

You freeze as Undyne trails off, gaze fixed on you. She's just as blue, fishy and ripped as you knew she would be.

And again, lunging at you from the doorway.

"HUMAN!" she shrieks, trying to push Papyrus out of the way, but you choke on a scream and manage to duck out of her way.

Teal light fills your vision as she summons a spear, and you're temporarily overwhelmed by the phantom pain of it piercing your soul. You force yourself to focus, panic shooting through you as she lunges again and manages to catch your shoulder with the shimmery blade.

The wound burns and sears, and you cry out and catch hold of Papyrus for balance, while he stands frozen in shock at the turn of events. "Don't let her kill me Paps!" you wail. "I just need to talk to her! She can have my soul later, but she needs to listen to me first!"

"Human..." Undyne growls, spear raised, "Step away from my friend."

"UNDYNE..." Papyrus's voice is small, hesitant, but he's not shaking you off, so that's a good sign. "I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT LET THEM TALK FIRST, OK? THEY'RE MY FRIEND... OR AT LEAST, THEY WERE..."

Why does it feel like your heart is breaking?

Undyne glares at you, then him, then back at you. Slowly, she steps back and opens the door wider, spear still at her side. "Fine. Inside. One wrong move and I skewer you."

You follow Paps inside and flinch as the door slams shut behind you. He doesn't look at you, but gently directs you to a chair at a table. He and Undyne sit on the other side, opposite you, and Undyne lays her spear on the table, poised ready to spring at any moment.

There's silence for a moment, as everyone calms down and you try to collect your thoughts. Papyrus is the first to speak, looking up from his hands with the most hurt, betrayed expression that you've ever seen.

"YOU'RE REALLY A HUMAN?"

You swallow. "I am."

"YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO MENTION THIS IN THE LAST WEEK?"

Undyne turns so fast that you fear whiplash. "The last WHAT?"

"I've been staying with Sans and Papyrus for a few days." You take a breath, laying your shaking hands on the table. "Before that, I was in the Ruins for a few weeks. I met Sans when I left, and he knows I'm human, and I convinced him to let me chill in Snowdin while I figure out what to do."

"That little traitor-"

"Please don't be mad at him. I convinced him that I'm not a threat and that I have a plan to help everyone. I was hoping to convince you too, that's why I came."

"SANS KNEW AND DIDNT TELL ME." Papyrus somehow looks even more betrayed. Are those little orange tears gathering in his sockets?

"Papyrus, you know what humans look like!" Undyne snaps. "I've shown you pictures."

"THEY- SHE?" You nod. "SHE LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. SHE DOESNT HAVE THE SUPER LONG LEGS OR HUGE EYES OR JIGGLING CHEST-"

"The general shape is the same!" Is Undyne blushing? Her cheeks are suddenly more green than usual. "You're telling me that with all the training we did, you had no clue that this person was a human?"

He slumps, looking chastened. "NO? IM SORRY UNDYNE. I FAILED YOU."

"I'll deal with you later." She turns to you again, narrowing her eye. "Alright. Somehow you convinced that lazy traitor to not turn you in. You think you can try the same trick with the Captain of the Royal Guard, loyal servant of the King, and battle-hardened taker of souls?" She crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow at you. "Try your best, human."

***

"So you think it's as easy as just walking through?" 

You'd thought long and hard about your pseudo-plan for the last few days, and after arguing fervently with Undyne and gaining more knowledge, you don't see how you can't make it work. "You don't know for sure that it won't work. We can at least try. If it doesn't, then I'll consider giving my soul willingly. You've waited this long, can't you wait a little longer?"

She studies you carefully, and glances down at your chest. Is she reading your stats the same way Sans did? If so, she'll know that you're being completely genuine. You resist the urge to pull your shirt up like you usually do when someone stares at it, instead glancing at Papyrus. His hands are clasped tightly in front of him, and he meets your gaze with a shadow of sadness that twists your heart. Or is it your soul? Or maybe it's your shoulder, which is starting to throb viciously now that your adrenaline is down.

"What you're saying makes sense." Undyne scowls. "Which I hate. I would much rather take your soul now and be done with it."

"You won't have much use for it until another human falls," you interupt. "You need 7, and I'm the sixth. So you'd have to wait for freedom either way. Can't I keep my soul intact for that time, at the very least?"

"Ughhhhh, shut up. Fine." She takes a deep breath. "I stand for justice under this crummy mountain that your people shoved us under, and what justice would there be if I didn't give you a chance when you're genuinely trying to help?"

"UNDYNE." Papyrus speaks for the first time since you proposed your idea. He looks extremely moved by his friend's words. "I-I'M PROUD OF YOU. I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO SHOW MERCY."

Your mind flashes with blue and red, but you blink away the disturbing images. "Neither did I..."

"Yes, well, I'm still going to have words with you about all this, Paps." Undyne looks grumpy, but you're relieved at the turn of events. It seems you'll be allowed to live a little longer than you expected.

Your shoulder gives a pang, as if reminding you that it exists. "Oh, um, guys... my shoulder really hurts from where you stabbed me before."

Realisation flashes over Undyne's face. "You've been sitting there injured the whole time?"

"Yes?"

"Damn..." The next words sound reluctant, like she's forcing them out. "You're kinda hardcore... for a human."

"Thanks...?"

She snorts and nudges the skeleton next to her. "Papyrus is better at healing than me."

"WHAT? OH! YES!" He scrambles to his feet and approaches you nervously. "I CAN HEAL YOU, FR- ER, HUMAN. SHOW ME THE INJURY."

You stand also, peeling off your hoodie and rolling up the sleeve of the shirt you borrowed from Sans. Blood has stained both articles, and you're surprised no one noticed until now. Your shoulder throbs as you reveal the wound, and you wince as the cool air hits it. "Ugh, it feels like it's getting worse."

"Magic attacks are supposed to feel like that, if they're not healed immediately."

"Noted."

Papyrus takes off his gloves, revealing the long phalanges underneath, and despite having seen Sans' hands before, you're still taken aback. You watch eagerly as he rubs them together with a scraping sound, and a green glow starts to emit from them. He lays both hands on your shoulder over the wound, and the skin starts to tingle.

You lean against the table, staring up at him as he focuses on healing you. There's something attractive about his face when he's serious, and you allow yourself to enjoy it. Like Sans, and unlike human bone, his skull looks so malleable and textured. His body, while covered, is more visible than Sans due to some of his tight clothing, and you can't say you don't like it. You find your gaze wandering down, and you grin at the tiny pants he wears over his pelvis before forcing your eyes back up, noticing how close he's standing and what a perfect height he is. You do have a weakness for taller guys... He's just the right height for cuddling, or even kissing if you stand on your toes.

Kissing... ha. He's a literal skeleton, you dummy. He doesn't have lips.

You shake your head at your silly thoughts, drawing him to meet your gaze. You decide to get something out of the way before anything else. "Look, Paps... I'm really sorry for not telling you what I was. Sans kinda told me not to tell you- maybe he wanted you to work it out for yourself? Or maybe he knew you would tell Undyne before I was ready to talk to her. Either way, I wasn't deliberately trying to deceive you. I understand if you're mad at me, but I do still see you as a friend, and I really hope you feel the same."

He nods, fixing you with a determined smile. "I DO NOT WANT TO HOLD HARD FEELINGS AGAINST YOU. I TRUST MY BROTHER'S JUDGEMENT- IF YOU WERE DANGEROUS, HE WOULD KNOW. AND I HAVE NO OTHER REASON TO DISLIKE YOU. WE MAY CONTINUE AS FRIENDS."

"Would you hold something else hard against me?" It comes out before you can stop it, and you cringe as you hear Undyne splutter angrily behind you. "I-I mean, great, yeah, cool! What an honor to have The Great Papyrus as my friend again!"

Playing on his pride always works, it seems. He puffs out his chest and finishes healing you. You didn't even notice you skin knitting back together, but the pain is now gone and you can move your arm freely. Sweet.

Undyne apologises for stabbing you and offers you some tea. You accept, pleased that you've gained another friend underground, and pull your jacket back on with a contented smile.

You guess this wasn't such a terrible idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hello there, story! Is it time to be coherent yet?
> 
> Smut in the next chapter, I promise.


	7. Chapter 7- nsfw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooking and showers and nakey skellies, oh my!
> 
> NSFW, I guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so done with this trash that took way too long to write just take it.

Nope, you were wrong. Even without the threat of death by skewering, this was still a terrible idea.

Instead, now it'll be death by exhaustion.

Undyne manages to rope you into training with her and Papyrus. "You're too weak," she says derisively, glancing you up and down. "Asgore might want to fight you, and you're not ready for that, especially without magic. I can tell none of this is muscle." She taps your arm and sniggers.

'What's the harm,' you naively think. You forget for a moment that these are the two most intense people you've ever met.

She leads you and Papyrus around Waterfall, lap after lap, passing pretty sites and landmarks that you would've liked to examine. If you had stopped, they would've left you behind, and you would've been lost. As it is, you're barely keeping them in your line of sight. So you grit your teeth and push on, flying past the glowing mushrooms and soft blue reeds, luminescent streams and whispering flowers.

When you arrive back at her home, you collapse on the grass and refuse to move. It feels like your heart is going to fly out of your chest and strangle you to death. Undyne laughs at your display and jokes about how weak you are, and how she'll take great pleasure in fixing that. Papyrus offers to help you up as his friend disappears inside, yelling about cooking.

"I don't think I could even move my pinkie finger if I tried," you wheeze, without an ounce of sarcasm.

"BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS COOKING! ITS THE MOST EXCITING PART OF TRAINING!" he exclaims, hovering over you and wringing those ridiculous red gloves.

"Well, unless you're gonna carry me inside, I think I'll be fine watching from out here."

You were joking, you swear. Apparently he didn't get that. Before you can blink, he's scooped you up in his arms and is carrying you inside.

He's warm. His arms aren't exactly comfortable, being bones and all, but his chest is warm and... humming faintly. Is that his magic? Or just his soul? What does it look like?

You don't realise you're staring up at him until he gently deposits you into a chair and goes to join Undyne in the kitchen. For some reason, your gaze is drawn to those tiny booty shorts that lack a booty. Whatever possesses him to dress like that? And why does everyone else let him? And... why do you kinda like it?

You blink rapidly to try to clear your head and notice Undyne staring at you. Or glaring, you can never tell. The blue woman holds your gaze for a full thirty seconds before turning away and suddenly pounding a tomato into her bench. Your heart jumps and your vision is filled with red light, a blue blade, darkness- no, it's not. Your vision is clear. But your head is starting to hurt. What is wrong with you today?

"Alright punks, listen up!" She manifests a spear, and your heart jolts at the sight. But no, it isn't pointed at you. Papyrus manifests a large bone and strikes a pose next to her.

"YES, UNDYNE!"

She gestures to the mass of vegetables spread over her kitchen bench. "It's time to SMASH these veggies!"

"SMASH THEM!"

"PULVERISE THESE WORTHLESS PUNKS!"

"PULVERISE THEM!"

"YAH!" She slams her spear into the veggies, splattering juice everywhere.

Papyrus follows suit, and you watch in horror as the kitchen is filled with screams and pulp like a bad movie. Paps wasn't lying when he told you Undyne was passionate. Pretty soon, the bench is covered in a disgusting-looking mess. You decide to just sit and watch the disaster enfold in front of you.

Or not.

A flash of blue; while you're ducking for cover, Undyne's spear embeds itself in the table in front of you. You peer over the top of the table, where Undyne is waiting, hands on hips.

"C'mon, human. Let's see whatcha got." Her tone suggests she doesn't have very high hopes. For some reason, this irritates you. You force yourself up from the table and grab the spear, yanking it out of the table. It hums in your hands, sending tiny sparks of energy into your soul. 

"What do I do with this?"

Her eye glints, and she points to the pot of badly made sauce. "Stir that, as hard as you can."

Well shit, you can do that.

You dip the crackling energy into the pot and begin to stir. The sauce immediately starts to bubble, and a burnt smell starts to waft up from it.

"Ugh, so wimpy. Harder than that!"

You raise an eyebrow and quicken the pace, trying not to spill anything over the side. Your arms are staying to hurt already- just how intense does stirring a pot need to be?

"NyaaAAAHHH!" 

You flinch away and glance at Undyne, who looks like she going to start pulling her hair out any second. Her hands are twitching, and you decide that this situation is just too dangerous right now. You step away, hands up. "You know what, you take over. I'm obviously too weak for this."

The teal-skinned monster sneers and snatches the spear, and you back away into Papyrus, who looks down at you with a kind smile.

"ITS OK, HUMAN! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL MAKE SURE YOU BUILD UP YOUR STRENGTH IN THE KITCHEN!"

You wince at his loud tone, hyper aware of how close you're standing to him. "Is that necessary for training to fight the king?"

"BUT OF COURSE!"

Whatever else he was going to say was drowned out by an explosion from Undyne's stove, and you felt yourself being shoved to the side as the kitchen was filled with noise- a clatter from the pot she had been stirring as it hit the floor and her startled yell. You blinked and looked up at Papyrus, who was now in front of you and appeared to be blocking you from the scene. "Uh...?"

He stepped aside without a word, examining the backs of his legs with interest. "UNDYNE, YOUR LEVEL OF PASSION IN THE KITCHEN, WHILE ADMIRABLE, COULD HAVE ENDANGERED THE HUMAN. LOOK, YOU SPLASHED ME WITH SAUCE."

Her only response is a laugh as she wipes her face, the failed sauce looking a little gory splattered all over her.

"Th-thanks, Pap." You peer around to see the damage on him, noticing the sauce on his black tights is still steaming. "Um, are you burnt or anything?"

He scrunches his face up in disgust, which appears to be quite a feat, considering his face is made of bone. "NO, BUT MY IMPECCABLE OUTFIT HAS BEEN COMPROMISED. I MUST GO HOME AND CHANGE IMMEDIATELY."

"Ah, c'mon Pap-"

He's stalking out before she can finish, and you're about to follow him out before you turn and survey the kitchen. It's an absolute disaster, and you're sure it'll take a long time to clean. 

"What are you staring at?" Undyne growls, hands on hips and covered in vegetable juice. She's still intimidating, even in this state, but your heart goes out to her.

"Did... you want some help cleaning up?"

The turnaround is instant- her expression goes from suspicious and annoyed to shocked out of her mind in a second. She gapes for a moment, and you're struck by a description that makes you want to giggle.

She totally looks like a fish out of water.

You quickly school (pfft!) your expression as she shakes her head. "Nah, but thanks. Better catch up to Papyrus, or you'll get lost or something."

"Oh, ok. You sure?"

Before she can answer, her phone starts to ring, and she digs it out of her pocket. On seeing what must be the caller ID, her skin seems to darken, and she waves you away quickly. "Yup! Go! I got this!"

"Ok..." You slip out the door, curiosity piqued, but unable to satisfy it yet. Now, how to get home? Hopefully Papyrus isn't too far ahead...

***

You manage to catch up to him by screaming his name until he answers, and he leads you home. The marshy ground, long grass and glowing streams aren't very forgiving of your jeans and sneakers, and by the time you reach Snowdin, your lower half is filthy. Guess you'll be borrowing some clothes from the boys again.

You shyly bring this up to Papyrus, who agrees to let you borrow something from him. Satisfied, you trudge upstairs and jump in the shower.

Under the hot spray, you realise how strange you're feeling right now. Your legs and back ache from the exercise you had been forced into, but your upper half- especially your once-injured shoulder- feels great. Something inside you feels light and fluffy, like you could start giggling at any time. Your head, however, feels heavy with suppressed thoughts. Like your mind is a shallow puddle. It's weird, and makes you feel tense, and not just in one aspect. You want to distract yourself, and almost without your permission, your hand strays down to your lower regions. 

Well, you are in the shower. Might as well take advantage of the alone time.

You rub your fingers slowly over your clit, feel the twinge of pleasure and suddenly desperate for more. Your other hand cups a breast as you reach down and trace your pussy lips, slowly and sensually. Up, then down. Inside, slowly, then outside, rubbing in circles and make your hips buck under your hand. Faster, faster still, chasing your pleasure while the hot water beats down on you, gasping and whining and-

"Ohhh, Pap~"

You stumble, just managing to catch yourself before you hit the shower wall, and clasp a hand over your mouth. You listen for any noise from outside the bathroom, but nothing. No one is gonna come running because they heard you moan Papyrus's name while masterbating.

Oh, god.

Your head is reeling from the endorphins, adrenaline and the fact that you just did something that Sans would probably kill you for. God damn it. You're still aroused, but you've got too much to think about now.

It's not until your fingers start to wrinkle and the heat of the water is undetectable that you realise how long you've spent in the shower. Grumbling, you shut off the water and grab a towel, drying your legs before shuffling out with your clothes and eyeing Papyrus's door. Downstairs, you can hear one of Mettaton's shows playing, so that should mean his room is clear.

You ease the door open and take a step inside, blinking at the colourfulness of the room, before freezing. Oh god, no. Abort! Abort! Ab-

"HUMAN!"

Fuck.

Papyrus is not downstairs. He's right here. And he's naked. And his skull is glowing orange.

And so are you. Mostly.

Instead of apologizing and leaving immediately, like a normal person, you stay rooted to the spot, feeling your face and neck flush uncomfortably as you stare at the bare skeleton in front of you. Even though there's nothing to see that would be sexualised in human terms, he's still naked. And you had just accidentally called his name while touching yourself. 

"UH, HUMAN, I AM SORRY, BUT..." Papyrus holds a sweater over his body, skull lit up like a neon sign. But after a moment, his expression changes from embarrassed to gleeful, and to your horror he tossed aside the sweater. "AH-HA! YOU MUST BE VERY SCIENTIFICALLY MINDED TO NOT BE BOTHERED BY MY BARE BONES! COME, FRIEND, AND EXAMINE TO YOUR SOUL'S DESIRE! IT MUST BE VERY EXCITING TO SEE ANOTHER SPECIES SO UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!"

You wouldn't mind taking him up on his offer, actually, but you know you're not in your right mind. As it is, you're checking him out more hungrily than scientifically. Managing to snap yourself out of it, you lower your eyes and back out of the room, mumbling, "Maybe later, Pap."

***

You go back to the bathroom and dry yourself off some more, then get started trying to wash your clothes in the sink. You've almost got the blue grass stains out of your hoodie, from that kerfuffle you had with Undyne, when you hear Papyrus leave his room and go downstairs, calling to Sans. Ah, he must've turned the TV on before. Great.

You hang your hoodie up on the towel rack and sneak back to Papyrus's room, now blissfully empty. You're trying really hard not to think about your slip-up, but it floats around in your mind as you pad over to the closet and your eyes are immediately drawn to the sweater that Paps had just used to cover himself. It seems long enough to cover your butt. Would his tights fit you, or is that asking too much?  
You find some and stretch them out experimentally. Actually, they just might fit.

You drop your towel, not bothering with your bra which is back in the bathroom, and pull the sweater over you head. It's soft and fluffy, caressing your skin just so... God damn it. You scowl as your arousal washes over you again, denied and built up from your previous rendezvous with your hand. It's not helping that you now associate this item of clothing with bare bones. What kind of freaky fetish has been awakened by living down here?

You look out the door, listening to the sounds of cooking and the brothers arguing about puns. You should be pretty safe in here, at least for a few minutes. Closing the door, you climb into the obnoxious racecar bed and get straight to it. You're already wet, and it doesn't take much to get you back to where you were in the shower. Your nipples peak almost painfully against the soft sweater, and you speed up your hand, rubbing hard circles into your clit. Your gasps and moans are quiet at first, and you even let yourself say Pap's name again. It seems to help. Images of his bare bones float behind your eyes. In your fantasy, you never left the room. Instead, he peels off your towel and summons a bright orange tongue, pushing you down onto the floor and licking and nipping his way down your body until he reaches your pussy. His tongue is flexible and long, and swirls around your clit and inside your dripping depths. His adorable blush is mischievous now, as you watch him eat you out and flutter his eyesockets up at you. Your hips buck uncontrollably as the coil in your belly winds tighter and tighter...

***

Downstairs, Sans is baiting his brother with ridiculous puns when he hears it. He turns down the TV volume and listens closely. Ah, there it is again! A very distinct... moan? He frowns, flushing a little as he realises it's the human. From upstairs, too. Is she seriously using one of their bedrooms?

Papyrus wanders out of the kitchen, mixing something in a bowl, drawn out by his brother's sudden silence. "SANS?"

He holds up a hand, shamefully wanting to hear more. He knows what pleasure sounds like, he doesn't need to hear this-

"Oh, god, Papy~!"

Well, shit. He turns the show back on, hoping to distract Papyrus, but the damage is done. 

"OH, WAS THE HUMAN CALLING ME?"

His eye sockets widen, shaking his head vehemently. "Nope, she wasn't. I didn't hear nothin."

His brother goes back to the kitchen, and for a blessed moment he thinks disaster is averted. Until Papyrus emerges without the bowl and heads for the stairs.

"Oh stars, Pap, don't go-"

But he's gone. Sans considers following but he doesn't want to intrude on the human's personal time. But Papyrus's innocence! With a groan, he blips to the hallway, only just too late...

***

You're nearly there. You're trying to regulate your voice but the cloud of pleasure is overriding all logical thought. Your fantasy Papyrus curls his tongue inside you, and you jerk, all the breath knocked out of you. Just a little more-

The door bursts open, and your orgasm breaks as you shriek and sit up, pulling the sweater over yourself. Papyrus stands in the doorway, watching you curiously.

"HUMAN! YOU CALLED FOR ME!"

"No!" you cry, panting from yet another ruined orgasm. Your insides clench, begging for release, and you press your legs together, trying to pretend your weren't doing what you were just doing. "I mean, uh, I was..." Think fast, you idiot! "Exercising! Like, after workout stuff."

Great. Well done. Slow clap for you and the dumbest-

"OH. UNDERSTANDABLE. YOU WERE WINDING DOWN FROM ALL THE TRAINING YOU DID TODAY. CALLING MY NAME WAS SIMPLY TO FOCUS YOU, CORRECT?"

You nod, speechless that your excuse worked. 

"WELL, I SHALL LEAVE YOU TO IT. WELL DONE."

He leaves abruptly, and you stare at the door, unable to wrap your head around what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait and lack of plot lol
> 
> So I'm thinking of doing a future smut fic like Edible Glitter, but for Christmas? Do people even do xxxmas fics still? Idk but I'm gonna.


	8. Chapter 8- nsfw??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone avoids the subject. 
> 
> Training happens. 
> 
> You start something, so of course you have to finish him. It. Finish it. Didn't I say it?
> 
> Nsfw-ish??

Sans refuses to meet your eyes for the rest of the night. He obviously knows what happened, but blessedly, he says nothing. Hopefully everyone will forget about this soon, because you feel like you're permanently about to die from embarrassment.

Everyone curls up on the couch with reheated spaghetti, and Sans somehow finds a way to sneak fries onto your plate, though where he's hiding them, you have no idea. You choke down as much pasta as you can stand, while on the TV Mettaton prances around a kitchen trying to make a chocolate cake. Even in such a tense situation, you're struck by a sense of familiarity and comfort. It's like a parody of a happy family, or a sleepover with friends from ye olden days when you actually did such things. It's weird, but tucked between two skeletons, eating terrible food and watching a robot on TV is where you feel like you belong.

You know they don't feel the same way, though. This would be so strange for them, having a human in their house, having to hide you simply because you managed to convince them that you want to help them. This awkward peace feels fragile, but somehow it's working. For now, anyway.

***

Against your better judgement, you agree to go back to Undyne's the next day. You figure that you might as well try to work out a little bit, or at least learn about fighting magic attacks for your future interactions with Asgore, or even other monsters. So you trudge through Waterfall with Papyrus, silent and contemplative, finding it hard to look at him while you can still remember what you did the might before. Your only consolation is that he's too innocent to understand what he walked in on.

Of course you know what caused this ridiculous situation in the first place. You don't even have to search your soul to know that you have a crush on him. Of all times to start having romantic feelings, it had to be in a land of monsters and magic, and on a skeleton, no less. Different genders are one thing- you've had plenty of crushes on people all over the gender spectrum, and your last relationship had been with another girl- but a different species? Is that allowed? 

You don't know what to think about any of this, so you keep quiet and decide to see where everything leads. You still might die sometime soon, you can't forget that.

Undyne isn't that happy to see you, but she doesn't object to including you in training. You think she mostly just likes to make fun of your lack of fitness, though. The morning passes excruciatingly slowly as you try to keep up with their workout, and when lunchtime rolls around, you have no energy left to join cooking lessons. Just as well, because it's just as disastrous as the day before. This time, everyone helps with the clean up, and they just heat up some cinnamon bunnies and tea instead. The magical food re-energises you, and Undyne proposes magic training for the afternoon.

You sit back and watch the two of them spar. It's fascinating, watching them conjure spears and bones out of nothing and duck and weave to avoid injury. You end up getting way more into it than you expected, heart in your mouth as you root for Papyrus and try not to shriek with every near-miss. But you needn't worry. Undyne and Papyrus are well synced with each other, and their battles look more like a choreographed dance.

Until you cheer a bit too loudly after Papyrus knocks Undyne on her back, and he faces you with a proud grin, chest puffed out... and fails to see Undyne leap up and slam into him, knocking him flying. This time you do cry out, rushing to his side. "Papyrus! Oh my god, are you alright?"

He sits up with a groan, brushing blue grass off his battle body. "OF COURSE, HUMAN. I AM NO STRANGER TO BEING KNOCKED DOWN."

"Tch." Undyne stalks over, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder as she grabs his hand and hauls him up. She must fail to see his wince as he straightens up, since she just raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "You got distracted. Never turn your back on an enemy, doofus."

"SORRY, UNDYNE." 

She shakes her head and claps him on the shoulder. "Take a break, buddy. I wanna see what the human can do, now."

You blink. "Me?"

"Yeah!" She backs away, sizing you up, before holding out her hand and curling her fingers. Your soul pops out of your chest, and you choke on a gasp, heart racing. That weird dream you had yesterday is now at the front of your mind, and you can't help but remember the moment you supposedly died. You have to clench your fists to keep yourself grounded. She doesn't want to hurt you this time, you remind yourself. Calm down.

"Why are you scared? I haven't done anything yet!" Undyne's confusion is almost amusing.

You shake your head. "I'm fine. What do you want me to do?"

She manifests a spear and throws it towards you, as gently as she can. You manage to stamp down your fear enough to catch it, the magic crackling and buzzing in your hands. Then she waves her hands towards your soul, and to your astonishment, it turns bright green. At the same time, your legs lock into place.

You fight down rising panic. "Wha- what did you do? I can't move!" 

"I want to test your deflecting skills." A number of spears appear in her hands, and she cocks her head at you. "Calm down, you wuss. I'm just going to throw these at you, and you have to knock them out of the way. No big deal!"

"No big deal," you echo, bracing yourself.

She tosses a few spears your way, and you duck instead of deflecting, twisting awkwardly. She berates you and tries again. This time, you manage to block the spears just before they touch your soul. They seem to shimmer out of existence when the magic meets. Well, that's helpful. Undyne nods approvingly and steps it up a little, throwing faster as you get into a rhythm. You're getting into it now, and you might even be enjoying it.

She motions, and Papyrus calls out from somewhere behind you. "LOOK OUT ON YOUR LEFT, HUMAN!"

Shit. Now they're flying at you from the sides as well as the front. Trying to keep an eye out in three different directions becomes exhausting very quickly, and you start to panic again, nearly fumbling as you block left, right, front, right-

"BEHIND YOU!"

You can't move fast enough for this one, and the magic pierces through your back and disappears as it meets your soul on the other side, leaving you with a burning pain wracking your whole body. You screech and drop to the ground, the hold on your legs releasing as Undyne turns your soul red again.

Papyrus's worried features hover above you. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT? DO YOU NEED HEALING?"

"I-" You rub your chest, wincing and trying to get your breath back. Your whole torso is throbbing. "I think so. If you don't mind."

He pulls off a glove and places his skeletal hand in the middle of your chest, concentrating as the green glow starts to spread from between his fingers. You gaze up at him, breathing slowly as warmth creeps through your body and the pain dulls a more bearable level. You so badly want to reach up and touch his face, but you resist. You really need to find some way to curb your strange thoughts...

"HOW IS THAT? DO YOU FEEL ANY BETTER?"

You blink, taking a deep breath and sitting up. "I, ah, yeah. That's better, thanks." He holds out a hand to help you up, and you take it, legs a little wobbly. He pulls a little too hard and you end up against his chest. For a moment, you consider staying there, but with reluctance you step back, hiding your nerves- and hopefully your blush- with a carefree grin. "Th-thanks! You're the best, Pap!"

"BUT OF COURSE- I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AFTER ALL!"

Your grin turns tender. "You sure are..."

Undyne clears her throat, and you turn around, smile dropping. She looks both apologetic and pissed- looks like she's noticed your badly-hidden feelings. "Sorry, dude. You're so fragile. Do you wanna try again, or was that too much for you?"

You feel like you were just getting the hang of this dangerous game of magic dodging. And if you get hurt again, Papyrus can heal you again, so win-win, right? Any excuse to get him to touch you... "I think I might try again. It's kinda fun!"

She raises an eyebrow, nodding. "I was expecting you to chicken out, but ok! You ready?"

"Hang on." You give yourself a shake, then do a few stretches, trying to loosen up. "It's really hard to block the ones behind me when my feet are stuck, you know."

"HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO PLANT YOUR FEET." Papyrus stands next to you and poses, battle ready. You're a little too busy admiring his form to copy it, though, so he moves behind you and places his hands on your hips. Your face floods with heat as you move where he tries to position you. "THIS WAY, YOU CAN TWIST AND BLOCK FREELY."

You plant your feet where he shows you and try to calm your heart. "H-Heh, thanks Pap." 

He steps back, and training resumes. This time, you last a lot longer in front of the barrage of spears. Papyrus insists on healing you again after you inevitably get hit, and the amount of physical contact you've had with him today, along with the adrenaline from training, leaves you on a high. Deciding to finish up, Undyne serves you tea again before it's time to head home. 

She grabs your arm on the way out the door, and your heart drops. Her smile is hard and fake, and her eyes glints as she tells Papyrus that she wants a word with you, and to wait outside. It drops as soon as the door closes behind him, and she wastes no time in getting straight to the point. "What do you want from Papyrus?"

There's no point in denying anything. You put your hands up, hoping to placate her. "I don't want anything from him. I know I'm probably painfully obvious with my crush on him, but that's all it is- a crush."

"And that's all it's going to stay. I won't let you hurt my best friend." She crosses her arms and holds your gaze, and you can almost feel the buzz of magic in her fingertips. She badly wants to point a spear at you right now, you can tell. "Papyrus is special, and he is under my personal protection, as well as his brother's. I can't tell you to stay away from him, since you seem to be under his protection for now, but know this- if I think you are putting him in any kind of danger, or are getting too close, I will kill you and take your soul. Is that clear?"

She's terrifying. You have to fight the urge to gulp, not wanting to appear too affected by her, but you nod rapidly as soon as she stops talking. "Yes. It's clear. I won't hurt him, I promise."

"Great talk." She turns her back on you, and you escort yourself out before you have the chance to start crying. 

Yet another death threat doesn't really affect you much, but it's the fact that you have to distance yourself from Papyrus that upsets you. Just the sight of him manages to cheer you up, though, and the fear built up by Undyne melts on the way home as he talks about the new recipes he wants to try soon. You're not doing anything wrong by being friendly, right? It's not like you're going to ask him on a date.

Sans is waiting for you when you arrive home, shivering from the Snowdin weather but laughing from a joke Papyrus had made. He watches you sharply as Papyrus reminds to take off your shoes and you ask if he wants help in the kitchen. You can feel his eyes on you, but you refuse to be intimidated. Instead, you smile at him and wander over to the couch, determined to make the air less tense. "Hey, Sans. How was your day?"

He shrugs, expression carefully neutral. "Eh. Fine. What did you get up to?"

"I trained with Undyne. It was actually kinda fun."

"THE HUMAN IS A FAST LEARNER, SANS!" Papyrus calls from the kitchen. "SHE HAS PICKED UP DEFLECTING QUITE QUICKLY!"

"Huh. Fancy that."

His cynical tone is really starting to grate on you, but you keep your smile on as you step away. "Ok, I'm going to have a shower now."

"You do that."

Your shower is short, cleaning only today. You don't want to risk any more awkwardness after the disaster that was last night. After scrubbing your clothes from today, you redress in the same sweater and tights from last night and join the boys for dinner.

Another night, another terrible dinner, another Mettaton binge. Despite Sans' pointed unfriendliness, you stay pretty positive, chatting with Papyrus about the different pastas available on the surface. Somehow this conversation is interesting enough to last until bed. The boys vacate the couch, and you settle in for another night of vague loneliness and wracking your brain for an idea to get you out of here.

The next day you decide to stay home. Papyrus seems to be limping when he emerges from his room, but waves off your concern and leaves for sentry duty, inviting you to afternoon training, which you decline. You remember how hard he hit the ground yesterday, and wonder if he's genuinely injured but refusing to get it looked at out of pride. Is he able to heal himself? Probably not, but surely Sans would oblige? You shake you head, wandering into the kitchen after he leaves. These guys are weird, and it's not really any of your business.

Sans passes while you're making tea, stopping for a moment to watch you hum and sway in the kitchen. Upon noticing him, you offer him tea, but he just shakes his head and disappears in front of your eyes. You frown, grabbing a cinnamon bunny to go with your cup, and go back to the couch. He obviously resents you for something- does he want you out of the house? Or is it the stupid thing you did the other day that still has him rattled? You snigger at your lame pun and turn on the TV, settling in for a lazy day.

Sometime in the early afternoon, Papyrus comes home. You immediately notice his limp is much worse as he stalks toward the stairs.

"UNDYNE SENT ME HOME TO REST, AS I AM APPARENTLY INJURED AND SHE DOESNT WANT TO STRAIN ME," he announces when you ask.

"Are you in pain?"

"THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN HANDLE ANY MINOR INCONVENIENCE SUCH AS PAIN!" 

He stalks upstairs in a huff, and you follow him, knocking on his bedroom door. "Where does it hurt? I don't have magic healing, but I might be able to help?"

He grumbles to himself, then asks you to come in. He's standing in front of his mirror, twisting around to try and look at his spine, wincing every so often. He's in his usual outfit, so anything that might be wrong is covered by skin-tight (bone-tight?) material. You stand at a respectful distance, trying to figure out how to phrase your next sentence.

"I could have a look, if you like. I might be able to see the problem."

He scowls, turning around. You don't think he's actually mad at you, just the fact that he needs help. "ITS MY SPINE. I THINK SOMETHING IS OUT OF PLACE."

"I'm going to need, uh," you glance over his clothes, hating yourself for it. "You may need to take your clothes off. So I can see the bone. It'll be easier." Even though you're being legit about helping him, you still feel guilty about it, like you're trying to manipulate him. Which you aren't. You genuinely want to help. But your feelings for him and Undyne and Sans' threats, direct or not, are all making this feel like a bigger deal than it is.

He side-eyes you, then nods, starting to pull off his clothes. "I REMEMBER YOU HAVE A SCIENTIFIC CURIOSITY, SO I SHALL NOT BE EMBARRASSED OF MY BARE BONES." A pause, then, "NOT! THAT THERE IS ANYTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED OF! FOR I AM A WONDERFUL SPECIMEN OF MONSTERHOOD!"

You stifle your grin at his ridiculous speech, watching the makeshift armour drop and his clothes peel off, bare bones being exposed to the air. Everything about him is so weird, but you can't help but adore it. "You sure are, Papyrus. Thank you for letting me satisfy my, uh, scientific curiosity." Ok, maybe now is a good time to feel guilty, but what's the alternative? 'Oh, no, I'm just a creep who likes looking at your naked bones, apparently.' Yeah, that would work out so well. 

He stands topless, ribcage and spine on full display. Well, this isn't so bad... You approach and examine his spine, running your fingers lightly over the vertebrae to try and find anything that looks like an injury. You know vaguely what it's supposed to look like, but you can't be completely sure... Although now you're looking for it, something does seem to be misaligned. You press your fingers around the out-of-place bit of bone, wondering how you're going to fix this. "You must've jolted something when you fell over yesterday. This kind of injury would probably paralyse a human- does touching it hurt?"

"N-NO." His voice sounds strangled, like he's trying to hold back pain. 

Shaking your head at his obvious lie, you step back and eye him critically. Both his hand are clenched tightly, and he's trying to keep his expression neutral. Best to get this over with as soon as possible. "Ok, well, I can try to fix it, but you'll have to lie down."

He nods, sitting down on his bed and adjusting himself to lie on his front. You sit on you knees next to him and find the spot again, feeling around the rest of the spine to try and figure out how you're going to do this without yanking him around too much. Hopefully you can just twist the bit into place, like a dislocated shoulder. 

Papyrus makes a slight noise, and you glance at his face. It seems to be... turning orange? Is he in that much pain? He seems to be panting a little too, even if he doesn't need to breathe. Weird...

You go back to what you're doing, closing your hands firmly around the misaligned vertebrae. "I'm going to do it now. Try to relax, it'll make it easier. I think." Hoping and praying that you don't permanently damage him- this was a terrible idea, why did you suggest it, you're going to kill him- you push the bit where it's supposed to go. With a little resistance, it clicks back into place, and a zap of orange magic arcs over the piece before disappearing, hopefully securing it. 

Papyrus gasps, then relaxes as you pull away, thankfully not showing anymore signs of pain. Something is different about him, thought- was his soul always visible through his ribs? You're pretty sure it wasn't, but maybe you weren't paying attention. You smile, reaching in again to feel the rest of the spine, making sure everything is aligned now. "There, that should be better, right? It all feels normal to me..."

"NNG!" He buries his face in his pillow, orange slowly taking over his whole skull. "H-HUMAN... YOUR HAND..."

You pause, mind turning over the cues you've been getting, before snatching your hand back like it's been burned. Heat flooding your face, you get off the bed and back away, heart hammering. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to overstep anything..." Shit. Shit shit shit. His spine must be an erogenous zone of some kind. And you were just fondling him. Your list of inappropriate behaviours in this house is ever expanding, it seems.

"N-NO, ITS..." he eases himself up, sitting upright on the bed and gingerly moving his arms around, then his upper body, testing it out. "IT'S GOOD! THANK YOU, HUMAN! I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW. WHY WOULD YOU BE SORRY?"

"Because... I was... touching you-" you pause, biting your lip. Is he seriously not bothered, or does he not know what you did? 

"WHY WOULD I BE UPSET BY THAT?" He still looks a little flushed, looking up at you so earnestly and... innocently. You realise with a start that he really is, and while it's adorable, it's also a little frightening. You hold the power in your hands, the ability to change that innocence into something else if you want to. You don't want this responsibility, but you want to be honest with him. 

"Because... I'm not supposed to do that... without your consent or knowledge." God, how do you explain this? You hope he doesn't ask for a 'birds and bees' talk. Maybe he'll just let it go now.

He cocks his head in confusion. "BUT I DID GIVE YOU CONSENT, AND I WAS AWARE OF IT. I'M NOT GOING TO DUST IF YOU TOUCH ME."

"That's... reassuring." How aware was he, though? Did he understand what he was feeling? He sounds like he's arguing for something, and your confusion is giving you a headache. "Are you saying you WANT me to touch you?" He looks away, silent, and your eyes widen as he blushes again, hands fiddling on his lap. Does... he know what he's asking for? "Papyrus? What is it you're trying to say?"

"I... YES." He can't quite meet your eyes, crossing his arms defensively. It only serves to make him look lost and scared. "I DO. WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME, I MEAN. NOT IF YOU DONT WANT TO OF COURSE- BUT YOU ASKED AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH. WHICH IS... YES."

Shit. Fuck. What are you supposed to say to that? He's being so honest with you, and you can't truthfully say you don't want to oblige him- you started this, accidentally or not, and your stupid crush is making it look like a good idea. You don't know how to react to this situation, but you do need to know one thing first. "Pap... How old are you?"

"22 YEARS OLD. WHY?"

You let out a sigh of relief. "No reason, I was just wondering." No need to tell him his personality made it hard to tell. He may be innocent, but at least he's not underage. You probably should have found that out before you let yourself start crushing on him, but it's done now. If you're truly going to do this, your conscience can be free. You take a step forward, glancing at the door, then back at him, your nerves sending your heart into overdrive . "Look, I'm going to be honest with you... I would be happy to, uh, help you out with this. If that's really what you want."

"REALLY?" He doesn't look like he quite believes you, but his soul appears to glowing a little brighter. Is that his version of nerves? It's really pretty, whatever it means. 

You gulp, realising that you can't possibly back out now. You want to do this, but if Sans finds out, or Undyne... You take a deep breath and go and sit next to him, placing a hand over his. "You can't tell Sans or Undyne, ok? They'll be angry with me. And I need to know that you really do want me to do this. It's important."

He nods vigorously, staring down at your hand. "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT NEEDS TO BE A SECRET, BUT I AGREE TO YOUR TERMS. AND... I DO. WANT THIS. PLEASE."

"Alright." You can't believe this is really happening. "So you want me to touch your spine?"

The orange blush deepens. "YES, PLEASE."

You raise your other hand behind him and brush your fingers over the bones. They're rough and porous, and you can feel the tingle of magic that holds him together. He gasps, going stiff, grasping your hand tightly. You let him squeeze it, watching him in fascination as you trail your hand up the vertebrae, feeling out all the lumps and bumps. He squirms, starting to pant a little, eyelights unfocused.

Your face is probably as red as his is orange. His reactions are actually doing something for you, and you bite your lip, trying not to squirm yourself. You want to make it last, to give him the best possible experience, but you're worried that Sans will walk through the door at any minute. He'll probably steal your soul for stealing his brother's innocence. Fair trade, you suppose. Shaking your head to clear it of such ominous thoughts, you wrap your hand around his spine and slowly stroke it up and down, testing the waters.

He doubles over, planting his hands on his knees for stability, shaking. You ask him if he's ok, and he tells you to keep going, so you do. Stroking, up and down, vertebrae hard against your soft palm. The bones seem to be warming up, and his soul keeps brightening, enough to make you see stars if you look at it for too long. He goes from panting to whimpering, then muffled cries as he covers his mouth with one hand, trying to stifle himself. You move your hand faster, stomach flip-flopping as you listen to the noises he makes. It doesn't take much longer after that, and he chokes on a cry as his soul flashes white, temporarily blinding you. You let go, hand going to his shoulder to ground him as he shudders and breathes through the residual sensations.

You're both silent for a moment, processing what just happened. What are you supposed to say? God, you hope this isn't going to make things awkward between you now. You couldn't handle it if he decided to ignore you and pretend this never happened, but you don't expect him to marry you for it, either. And if he decides to tell his brother... Did you just make the worst mistake of your life? Did he?

You have to say something, you can't just leave without acknowledging this. "So... are you, ah, satisfied?" 

"I-I.." he takes a deep breath, straightening up, and glances at you. You meet his stare head on, both of you flushed and hesitant. "YES. THANK YOU, HUMAN. YOU... DID NOT HAVE TO DO THAT..."

You nod, biting your lip. "Well, I did start it, accidentally. And I wanted to finish it. But I have to ask... was that your first time? Doing anything like that?"

"Y-YES. I HAVE NOT REALLY... FELT ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE. YOU ARE VERY TALENTED. WAS IT SOME KIND OF HUMAN HEALING?"

You can't stop the giggle that bubbles out of you, and you lean your head on his bony shoulder, warmth coursing through you. Maybe you can avoid a crisis for now. Maybe you can be happy in this moment. "In a way, I suppose, it can be. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"What's going on in here?"

You freeze, breath catching in your throat. Both of you turn to see Sans standing the doorway, looking confused and angry, and you squeeze Papyrus's arm, hoping he remembers what he agreed to before. Forcing a smile, you acknowledge him. "Hi, Sans! I was just helping Papyrus- he hurt his back yesterday and finally let me have a look at it. He's ok now."

"Pap?" He looks at his brother, expression stern. "Is this true?"

"OF COURSE IT IS, SANS! WHY WOULD THE HUMAN LIE?" He sounds so convincingly offended, you want to laugh. "UNDYNE SENT ME HOME EARLY, AND THE HUMAN NOTICED I WAS INJURED, AND SHE FIXED IT FOR ME."

"Really?" He sounds dumbfounded, all traces of suspicion gone. "How did you do that?"

"I just kind've... twisted a bit back into place." You shrug. "Humans know what bones are supposed to look like, and we know how to fix them. Some of us, anyway. If we pass biology."

"Huh." He nods, stepping back, looking thoughtful. "Cool. You're kinda helpful, after all."

"Thank... you?" You stand up, patting Papyrus on the shoulder, and smooth out your hair, trying not to fidget. "Anyway, I was happy to help. Feel free to tell me if you need anything else, and I'll try my best."

He leaves, wandering down the hall, and you hear his door open and shut. You let out a breath and step away, covering your face as your mind reels from the close call. "Oh my god. He's scary even when he's not being threatening. Thanks for not saying anything, by the way."

"OF COURSE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS ALWAYS KEEPS HIS PROMISES!" Ahh, he's back. He stands up, stretching a little, and turns to you with a shy smile. "THANK YOU AGAIN. YOU HAVE... VERY SOFT HANDS."

You heart jumps, and you try to hide your delighted grin as you step away. "No problem. I'll... just go and let you change, I guess."

He nods and picks up his clothes to put them back on, and you pause in the doorway, glancing back. And stay, of course, because you're absolutely shameless, and after what you did for him today you're not afraid of anything. When he's nearly done, you leave, skipping down the stairs and deciding to get dinner started. Maybe it'll be edible tonight. Maybe keeping busy will help you to distract yourself from the fact that you basically jerked off your crush. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how this happened.
> 
> I did some digging, looking for a canon age for Pap, and decided to go with the easiest thing and just go by his online name. Someone on a forum pointed out that it's more likely to mean 2095 than 1995, but honestly it's too complicated for me to care about, so we'll just use present day dates. Either way, he's old enough to do the sex thing.
> 
> Reader just keeps getting deeper into trouble! How will this new thing play out? Idk man I haven't written it yet.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talks are had, ideas are had, realisations are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, what’s this? I’m alive?? I have a chapter???
> 
> It’s pretty filler, but I cross my heart and hope to cry, the next chapter will be very... interesting.

"Where are you going?"

You blink up at Sans from the couch, in the middle of tying your beat-up sneakers. Last night had gone as smoothly as any other, and thankfully Papyrus hadn't said or done anything to make Sans' suspicious after that possibly terrible lapse in judgement in his room. In fact, he almost acted like it never happened, which you were grateful for. So there's no reason for Sans to be looking as shifty as he is right now. "Uh, Undyne's place, with Pap. Like every day. Why?"

He shrugs, but all the casual motions in the world can't hide the distrustful look he's constantly giving you. "I was just, uh, wonderin' if you'd wanna... come with me today."

"To work?" You're not sure exactly what Sans' work entails- he gives you a different answer every time to care enough to ask. Regardless, why would he want you to come to work with him? He doesn't even like you.

"Yeah. Thought you'd wanna check out Hotland. And I thought maybe you'd wanna help me out with something."

Another part of the Underground? With a guide who has been cool about keeping your secret despite his reservations about you? You can live with that. You tighten your shoelaces and stand up, nodding as you pull your hoodie over the top of another sweater you've stolen from Papyrus's closet. "Wait. Hotland? It doesn't happen to be hot there does it?"

He cracks a grin, still guarded but amused. "What tipped you off? You may want to bring something cooler."

"I've got something on underneath, I'll be fine." Your sports bra should be good enough, as you'll most likely have to keep the hoodie on anyway.

“Cool. Let’s get going.”

“But... breakfast...” You had planned to help Papyrus finish cooking before you left, hopefully grab some spaghetti before he ruined it.

“I’ll buy you something.”

“Ok.” You trail past the kitchen, poking your head through the doorway. “Hey Paps? Change of plans. I’m going to Hotland with Sans, but I’ll see you tonight?”

He’s carefully pouring glitter into a measuring cup when he looks up, an expression of surprise on his face. “REALLY? ALRIGHT THEN. I WILL PASS YOUR REGARDS TO UNDYNE.”

“Thanks, man.” You linger for a few seconds, watching him go back to his task of making inedible spaghetti with a fond smile, shaking your head. He looks up again, probably to ask why you’re still there, and you slip away, following Sans out the door.

The cold air hits you like a slap to the face, but you’re almost used to it now. You shove your hands in your pockets and grit your teeth, crunching through the snow next to Sans, passing trees and houses. You keep your hood up and your head down as you pass other monsters, giving them a small wave as they greet Sans warmly, then you with some curiousity. The two of you are silent, and anxiety curls uneasily in your chest as you worry about what he could be thinking about. You’ve done plenty of things in the last few weeks that he could find fault with if he knew about them, and you wouldn’t put it past him to know things he shouldn’t. 

You wonder if he would throw you out of the house if he knew about your feelings for Papyrus. Or about the thing you did for him last night. Oh dear, you need to stop thinking about Papyrus’s flustered face when he asked you to touch him, and the sounds he made, the memory sending shivers down your back that has nothing to do with the cold. Hopefully the blush that you can feel creeping up your neck will be hidden by the hoodie- or can be explained away by the cold.

Sans leads you to Grillby’s, and you feel the chill starting to melt away as you step inside. The monsters inside perk up immediately, sending excited greetings your way, and Sans waves and grins, punning his salutations. This guy is popular, you’re starting to realise. Straight to the bar, and he waves to the man made of fire. “Fries to go, thanks, Grillbz.”

Who are you to decline fries for breakfast? You’ve had worse. And Grillby makes delicious fries.

You get your breakfast in a paper bag, and Sans leads you out again, reaching for your hand as you stand in the snow outside. “C’mon, lets take a shortcut.”

The world swims before your eyes, and you stop breathing as your brain tries to make sense of it. A second later, you’re standing on dark bricks, and the heat is suffocating.

You scramble to unzip your hoodie, the turn away from Sans to pull your sweater over your head, pulling the hoodie back on again and tying the sweater around your waist. It’s barely better, but you’ll have to manage- you don’t know who might recognise you as human, after all. Best be on the safe side and stay covered.

Sans is puffing a little, and he holds up a finger to you as he recovers. You give him his minute and let him lead you past the cliffs that sheltered your landing once he’s recovered. Any questions you might have about his teleporting fade away as you approach a building, large gold letters standing out against the dark blue background.

You turn to him with wide eyes. “You work for Mettaton?”

He raises an eyebrow ridge at you. “I’m a comedian at the hotel, yes.”

“Sweet!” It is pretty cool- you do like his puns, but you didn’t realise he was good enough to actually make it his living. Power to him!

The inside of the hotel is bright, making you squint as you take in the red and gold, the fountain, the decorations, the monster at the front desk who looks like a giant hand. It’s a little cooler inside, and you breathe a sigh of relief, wiping the sweat from your brow as you follow Sans into the restaurant, taking the seat he points out to you and avoiding the eyes of all the monsters at their tables. He speaks to a waiter on the way over to the stage, and a moment later you’re served a glass of water. You smile and nod your thanks, and settle in with your rapidly cooling chips to watch him be funny.

And he is. As soon as he settles onto his stool and taps the microphone to check that it’s on, he turns into a completely different person. He’s lively, animated, cracking out jokes and puns with rapid succession, telling stories you’re sure never happened and pulling laughter out of everyone present. You don’t know if you’ve ever laughed harder in your life. 

Time passes in this agreeable fashion, and soon enough he’s thanking everyone for their attention and telling them to come and see him tonight for dinner. As you watch him greet monsters he knows at their tables, chatting and laughing as he makes his way back to your table, you suddenly think of Papyrus. Despite his sunny disposition and sweet personality, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him with friends other than Undyne, and she’s his trainer. Granted, you’ve never been out with him in public, but even walking through Snowdin, Sans is greeted by others. He’s popular, friendly, known by everyone... you’ve walked through town with Papyrus before, and the same can’t be said for him. 

“Are you thinking about Papyrus?”

You glance up at Sans as he pulls up a chair and sits down, fighting the panicky feeling that comes with the idea of your secret being discovered. “How did you-?”

“You get this look on your face whenever you look at him, and you have the same look now.” He crosses his arms, studying you. The darkness in his eyeholes sends shivers down your back. “How do you feel about my brother, human?”

“I, uh, I like him. He’s cool.” You swallow, going to take a drink but finding the glass empty. “I was just thinking... he’s so... bright and bubbly... and always talking about how great he is... which on anyone else would be irritating, but with him it’s just cute... but I don’t ever see him with friends. Everyone seems to like you, but...”

“He’s always had a bit of trouble making friends.” He leans back, visibly less suspicious already, his permanent grin a little sad now. “It’s always been that way. That’s why I thought it was so strange that you hang around him all the time...”

“I find him sweet.” You can feel your cheeks warming a little as you think about what you like about the taller skeleton. Where do you even start? “I’ve never met anyone like him before. He’s so enthusiastic and he wears his heart on his sleeve- everything he says and does feels genuine and honest. It’s... refreshing. And seeing the way the two of you care about each other is refreshing, too.”

“I try to look out for him as much as I can,” he agrees, crossing his arms. “I’m afraid of him getting hurt. He already has a hard enough time with how other monsters treat him, and I know humans can be a cruel species-“

“So you’re worried about me breaking his heart.” You nod, not at all offended by his generalisation. He’s right, after all. “I understand. It’s a valid fear, but... I’m not going to hurt him. I don’t want to. I like him a lot, and I like you, and I like to believe we’re friends. I don’t do anything to hurt my friends.”

He’s quiet, and it feels like he’s staring into your soul. Metaphorically or physically, you’re not sure. But whatever he sees there seems to satisfy him, because his eyes soften a moment later, and you feel yourself relaxing now that you don’t feel like you’re being interrogated. “Heh, thanks, kid. I guess we can be friends. It’d be awkward if you weren’t, living in our house and all.”

“Yeah...” You idly tap your fingers against your glass, hoping he’s not going to ask about your plans to break the barrier, seeing as they don’t really exist yet. “So, ah, what was it you needed my help with? I’m guessing you didn’t bring me all the way out here to give me the ‘break his heart I break you’ talk.”

“Well, now that I know you’re really a friend... Pap’s birthday is coming up, and I was wondering if you wanted to help find him a present.”

You smile, straightening up. “I didn’t know monsters celebrated birthdays too! When is it?”

“Tomorrow.”

You stare. “And you’ve waited till now to get him a gift?”

He shrugs, looking a little sheepish. “I always wait till the last minute. I’m kinda out of ideas, though.”

What do you know Papyrus likes? Himself, cooking... and Mettaton. You remember seeing the figures set up in his room. “Another Mettaton figurine?”

“He has all of them.”

“Merch?”

“Again, he’s already got it all.”

“An autograph?”

He scratches his skull. “I’m not quite sure how to go about that- it’s not like he wanders around for people to ask him for one.”

“Well, what about tickets?” At his blank look, you grin. “You know, for the live shows? The audience has to come from somewhere, right? Can’t you get tickets to that?”

“Wow.” He stares at you again, this time with surprise. “Why did I not think of that? I don’t know how I feel about feeding his obsession, but...”

“He’d love it.” The idea already excites you- imagining Papyrus’s face when he gets those tickets makes you feel warm inside. “I bet they’d know where to buy them at the reception desk.”

You both pause, then nod to each other, getting up and heading back into the foyer. You let him handle it, watching him banter with the strange monster at the desk, and a grin crosses your face as he ambles back with two tickets in his hand. “Whadaya know, employees get discounts and perks. Two tickets to tomorrow night’s live show- apparently it’s a new late-night show. Not sure how I feel about being in screaming crowds for a few hours, but if it’s for Pap...”

“I could take him.” Your heart jumps at your own words- taking Papyrus to a show would feel a little like a date. But you like Mettaton more than Sans seems to, and it would make sense for you to go instead. “I mean, I like Mettaton too. And I don’t mind crowds.”

“What about being recognised?”

You pull your hood closer around your face. “I’ll wear a disguise.”

“Hmm.” He shrugs, nodding as he leads you out of the hotel again. “Fine. If you think it’ll work out... I trust you to look after him.”

You want to laugh. It’s like you’re being entrusted to babysit a kid, but Papyrus is an adult, and you’re going to treat him as such. Still, Sans says he trusts you, and that’s pretty good coming from the usually suspicious skeleton.

Sans decides to show you around the area, and you follow him into the streets of Hotland, trying not to sweat to death. Your hoodie is soaked, and you’re itching to rip your jeans off, but you don’t really want to complain. You manage to distract yourself with puzzles that Sans finds for you, publicly available ones for whoever feels like a game. It’s a cool system, you think. Like public parks, but with actual activities. When you’re done with that, he shows you to a few shops, and you get an idea. “Hey, should I make a cake for tomorrow?” 

“That’s a human birthday tradition, yeah?” At your nod, he nods back. “Sure. We usually just do gifts, but he’ll appreciate it. Want me to help you find ingredients?”

“Please.”

******

As you find your way from shop to shop, collecting ingredients and browsing local products, Sans brings up the subject you’ve been trying to avoid. You’re a little ashamed to admit to him that you don’t have a plan yet, that your grand desire to break the barrier without giving up your own soul has proved fruitless so far. 

“But when I was still in the Ruins, I was told that it’s possible to cross the barrier with a human and a monster soul,” you hasten to add. “Couldn’t I... take someone with me to the surface? Surely there’s something up there that can help- if I found some mages, for instance-“

“As far as we know, it’s only possible if the monster soul absorbs the human one,” he interrupts quietly.

You pause, turning to stare at him. “Absorbs? As in... the whole soul? Would the human die from this?”

“In this situation, I’m not sure. I only know... there was one time it happened...” He slows down, walking beside you with his hands in his pockets, expression distant. “It was a long time ago... the king and queen had two children...”

And so he tells you a story. A story of two children, one human and one monster, who were loved equally by all. How the human one died, and the monster absorbed their soul, became a powerful creature who could cross the barrier and lay their sibling to rest in their village as a last request. How that monster was attacked by the humans above and stumbled home to die. How this tragedy resulted in the division of the royal family and the disappearance of the queen.

“That’s awful...” you murmur, sorrow twisting inside you like a knife. “I can’t believe the humans would do that... actually, maybe I can, but I’m certain we’ve gotten better.”

“Well... you’re here, aren’t you?”

That makes you pause. Sans, the guy who’s been suspicious of you, the guy who has only just accepted you as a friend, the one you’re probably most wary of... did he just call you a better human? Did he say something nice about you? You feel yourself smile at the compliment, although part of you doesn’t feel like you deserve it. You wonder if he’d still say that if he knew the little things you’d been up to in the last few weeks. You push that thought away and just take the compliment. “Aw, thanks, Sans! I’m flattered.”

He shrugs, a pleasant look in his eyelights. “Well, you’re pretty nice for a human. Wanting to help us and all. Befriending Paps. Not trying to kill anyone.”

“That’s me, not murderous and desperately trying to find a reason not to have my soul stolen.”

He chuckles, and the two of you continue through the streets. But you’re definitely still thinking about the soul thing. Maybe those legends aren’t the most comforting, but you still think that maybe your idea could work. You make a note to raise it with Undyne next.

******

Sans takes you home once you have everything you need for the cake. You even manage to find a candle, which you’ll need his help to light as it’s magic based. It’s only when you’re putting the ingredients away that you realise you’ll have to do it from scratch, as you have no recipes to follow for this. You consider looking it up on your phone before you remember that one, your phone is dead, and two, you wouldn’t have reception down here anyway.

“What’s with that face?” Sans asks as he makes tea for you, sliding mug across the counter as you stand frowning at the pantry.

“I kinda miss my phone, to be honest,” you admit. “I have some recipes saved on it, but I haven’t been able to charge it here.”

To your surprise, he snorts, amusement spreading over him. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a phone? I know someone who could probably fix it up to work down here.” 

“Really?” You trail out of the kitchen and rifled through your backpack, pulling out your depressingly silent phone. “That’d be awesome!”

He takes it, slipping it into his pocket and saluting you jokingly. “I’ll get right in that before work tonight. You should have it back before tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much, Sans...” You pat him on the shoulder with a smile. “You’re pretty cool, you know that?”

“Not as cool as Papyrus.”

“You know what? Fair. Papyrus is pretty damn cool.”

“I’m glad you agree.” You both go back to the kitchen to grab your teas, and he sculls his as he checks his non-existent watch. “Welp, gotta go. See you tonight.”

“See you-“

He disappears before you finish, and you shrug, sipping at the strange, salty tea that should’ve been too hot for him to drink straight. 

You spend the time alone organising bowls and pans for you to use when you bake the cake, checking that you know how to use the oven (it’s a very old model, but somehow it still works) and then you watch TV, enjoying a news report about a school in New Home that had many students prank their teachers as an end-of-term tradition. Before you know it, Papyrus is waltzing through the door, kicking off his boots and shaking the snow off his jacket. You exchange pleasantries, and volunteer to help him make dinner tonight. 

That’s how you find yourself punching tomatos with him, splattering the kitchen in juice and seeds and having the time of your life. The noodles are successfully boiling and there’s a bowl of chopped up ‘water sausage’ waiting to be put in, a new experimental addition that you think sounds a lot better than ice and glitter. You’ve convinced him to forgo both ingredients, promising to make him something glittery later. You get the sauce started and then turn on the TV when you remember that the musical segment of Mettaton’s show is starting, a little thrill going through you as you pause to watch the robot wheel around the stage with a microphone, knowing you’ll be seeing him live tomorrow night. You can’t wait to give those tickets to Papyrus.

The two of you end up dancing around the kitchen, and you’re able to remember some of the words to the music so you can sing along. This is probably the goofiest you’ve seen Papyrus, when he’s genuinely enjoying himself and not putting on an act for others, and you love it. You love him.

Oh god, you really do, don’t you?

The thought makes you stop dancing, flushing as you catch up to your thoughts. But Papyrus just grins madly and grabs your hands, pulling you into a silly dance that has you laughing again. Until you slip on some tomato juice and fall with a thud, pulling him down on top of you.

You gaze up at him from your new position on the floor, panting as you feel the exercise disagree with you. Your breath may be evening out, but your heartbeat isn’t. It flutters in your chest, forcing a blush into your cheeks as he holds himself above you, recovering from the dancing and the shock of the fall himself. For a moment, there’s nothing but the music that fades into the background as you stare at each other, inches apart. You’re close enough to see the texture of his skull, the tiny eyelights in the depths of his eyes, the teeth your could brush your lips against if you pulled him down a little further, or leaned up. How would that feel, you wonder idly, to kiss his teeth? How does kissing work for skeletons? How does... everything work? Oops, no, abort- you can’t think about that when he’s literally on top of you...

This is more than a crush, isn’t it? You love him. You love Papyrus with all your heart, and it’s all you can do to not lean up and kiss him right now. Instead you giggle, covering your face in an attempt to hide your blush. “I’m sorry, Pap- are you ok?”

He pulls back, checking himself before offering a hand to you, still looking a little dazed. “IM FINE, BUT ARE YOU INJURED?”

You let him pull you up, wincing at the pain in your hip. “A little sore, but it’s nothing that won’t disappear in a few hours. Don’t worry about it.” You shake yourself off, feeling sticky and grubby. “Ok, we should clean this place and then shower, we made a big mess.”

He agrees, and you get to work, smiling to yourself as you watch him hurry around and clean. Yeah, Papyrus is great, and every other monster can suck it if they disagree. You love this guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could cry about motivation, or I could just write a bangin chapter to make up for the trash that this one is. Anyone wanna guess what happens next?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday, Papyrus!
> 
> Mettaton’s show is not for the faint of heart. Or the young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy, remember me?  
> Me neither.  
> I promised interesting and I give you... something.

The night progresses normally- nothing crazy happens because of your semi-revelation. Not that you expect it to. The only difference is that you have to keep an eye on the stupid grin that keeps finding itself on your face. When Sans returns after dinner with your phone and a deliciously greasy bag, you have to steel yourself to not arouse his suspicion. Although having your phone back is a pretty good excuse to use for your sudden happiness. 

You play around on it while Sans sneaks you fries on the couch, bopping your head to Mettaton’s quiz music in the background. There’s been a few changes and some apps have been added that you don’t recognise, but your music, photos and games are intact, and you breathe a sigh of relief as you scroll through the device. It’s like home in your hand. A piece of the surface that reminds you of when everything was normal. The nostalgia isn’t as strong as it could be, but maybe that’s because you’re happy despite having lost your old life. Good food, cute guys, quality entertainment... what more could you want? And who’s to say you’ve lost it forever, anyway? 

When the show finishes and the boys get up, ready to head to bed, you bid them goodnight and wander into the kitchen. Sans pops in to make sure you’re ok to bake by yourself, and you send him off, promising good things for tomorrow. Once you hear their doors close and movement stop, you get to work.

It’s been a while since you’ve baked, and the ingredients aren’t exactly the same as you’re used to, but you’re able to figure things out. The recipes saved on your phone are helpful. It’s not long before you have the cake in the oven and you’ve started on the icing. And when you’re done with that, you make yourself some tea and slip out the front door, sitting down on the steps outside and surveying the dark, snowy town. 

It’s freezing, but the tea you sip sends heat to counter the cold that curls around your bones. The streetlamps and warm window lights that shine into the snow are enough for you to see the landscape despite the lack of stars or moon. A little way away, you watch the lights of the bar blink out, and a flickering orange figure walk his last customer out with a wave. For a moment, he stands in the snow, watching the sleepy town just like you do. Then he disappears back inside, and you sigh into your tea, steam curling around your face. You might just understand why the monsters in this place are so lovely- they may not be free, but this is a calming, pretty place to spend the rest of your life, if you were inclined to. If there was no alternative. 

Hopefully it won’t have to be like that for much longer.

You return inside when your toes start to feel like ice. You’re very sleepy when you finally get the cake out of the oven and place it in the fridge to cool overnight, and after cleaning up your mess, you drain the rest of your tea and collapse onto the couch, darkness claiming you more quickly than you expect.

******

You have to shoo Papyrus out of the kitchen the next morning before he starts breakfast, so you can ice and present the cake. No one mentions his birthday, so when you emerge with the iced, candled cake complete with glitter and chunks of ice on the side, his reaction is no less than ecstatic. It’s possible that he thought the two of you had forgotten, a hypothesis that’s confirmed when you spy orange tears in his eyes as he’s swinging you around in the kind of hug only he can give. You squeeze him back, laughing, and place a quick peck on his cheekbone as you pull away. He blushes prettily but tries to cover it up with bluster, and you feel yourself falling even more in love with him. It’s a cute moment that needs to be interrupted before you give yourself away, and thankfully Undyne does so by banging on the door. She comes in with a bouquet of blue flowers and bones (a recycled gift? Papyrus doesn’t seem to mind) tied in ribbon, and for a moment there’s chaos as the two of them roughhouse and you try to protect the cake.

When everyone’s settled down, you call them to gather around the cake, lighting the candle. Leading them in classic human birthday tradition, Happy Birthday is sung, wishes are made, the candle is blown out, and cake is passed around. It’s surprisingly good, and you end up eating three slices.

If you thought Papyrus’ reaction to the cake was crazy, it’s nothing compared to what happens when Sans gives him the tickets. He takes a moment to realise what they are- that yes, they’re real, and yes, he’s going to see Mettaton live. You see the exact moment it clicks, and then he jumps up with a screech and dashes out the door, leaving you staring after him in silence. You turn slowly to look at Sans, who seems unperturbed by his brother’s sudden exit.

“He’s probably gone for a jog,” he explains at your confused look. “He does that when he’s super excited and has to work off his energy.”

Undyne snorts and shakes her head. “I seriously question his taste, sometimes. It’s just Mettaton.”

You refrain from telling her that you’re actually really excited for the show too, and instead start to clear the plates away. “So, once he comes back, what are the plans for today?”

“We might spar a little.” She flexes, eyeing you. “Or just chill. I give everyone a day off on their birthdays, so he doesn’t have to be anywhere today.”

“Well, it won’t be hard to chill in Snowdin.” You take the plates and leftover cake to the kitchen, waiting for them to register your pun. It takes a moment, but then you hear them laughing, and you grin to yourself. Every time you make a pun, you feel like you ingratiate yourself more with your monster friends. It’s a nice feeling, like you almost belong. 

Papyrus returns when you’re nearly finished in the kitchen, and you hear him panting out his thanks to Sans. You join them in the living room, watching him clutch the tickets to his chest with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen him wear, and you can’t help but match it, pumped up by his excitement. 

******

The rest of the day ends up being a flurry of activity. Undyne rushes everyone outside to spar, and eventually it turns into a snowball fight. You’re numb and jacked up on adrenaline, hiding behind a wall of snow with Sans, while Papyrus and Undyne shout insults and challenges from another a few metres away. The snow flies between your teams, trying to hit each other or break down the walls. At some point Sans falls asleep on the ground, with a snow pillow, and you’re left to defend your wall by yourself. 

A chunk of wall breaks away thanks to an oversized snowball as big as your head. You send back a barrage of smaller ones, screaming your plans for revenge. The others shout back taunts until a huge mountain of snow surround by a blue glow floats over and deposits itself on top of them. Sans’ eyes are closed again when you look at him, but he’s grinning at the dismayed shouts from the other side.

At one point, you hear Papyrus yell “SURPRISE ATTACK!” and peer over the wall just in time to see him racing towards you. He throws himself at the wall, taking it down and you too, and you find yourself buried under a huge pile of snow and one large skeleton. You suddenly feel a sense of déjà vu, recalling your slip in the kitchen the previous day, and you feel your cheeks warming as he holds himself up and glances around, unaware of how flustered you are beneath him.

Undyne laughs hysterically and tugs Sans our of the avalanche, and the shorter skeleton shakes the snow from his clothes and taps his skull to get it out of his eyes. Papyrus looks down at you apologetically, but before he can move you grab a handful of snow and throw it at his face, laughing as he splutters indignantly. The party is over then, everyone too tired and cold to go on, and Undyne heads home while the three of you traipse inside. You’re shivering, and the boys insist you take the shower first.

A few hours later, after many outfit changes and a hurried dinner, you and Papyrus leave Snowdin in a boat, heading towards Hotland. Papyrus looks stylish in a leather jacket and MTT shirt, while you’re in a hoodie and have wrapped a scarf around your face , with your own MTT shirt layered over the top at Pap’s insistence. Becoming a fashion disaster is the least you can do for your friend, matching him at this exciting event.

You manage to keep your cool, alone with Papyrus, even though you can relax without Sans around now. You just want to enjoy your time and not complicate it with feelings. So you keep up the conversation and listen to him ramble about how much he loves Mettaton, dispersed with complaints about how impractical Hotland puzzles are and his hope that you wouldn’t have to cross too many. Soon enough you arrive in Hotland and find your way to the hotel. The short trip between the boat and the hotel gets you sweating immediately, but the cool air inside is a relief. An attendant gives you a map and directs you to the right level, and you file in with the crowds of monsters who will be in the audience with you. It’s a big room, with a stage in the middle and cameras and lights set up around it. You listen to the excited giggles and chatter around you and glance around with your grins hidden by your scarf, barely able to take it the diversity and strangeness of everyone around you. 

The doors close, and the audiences hushes as the lights dim. Spotlights train on the ceiling and music starts to play, and to everyone’s delight, the robot himself descends on a rope and wheels around the stage, waving to the audience and thanking you all for being there. His voice, mechanical yet smooth, is pleasant and engaging, and you’re reminded of talk show hosts back on the surface, full of infectious energy. Next to you, Papyrus is already spellbound, hands clasped over his chest and eye sockets wide. The neon lights reflect off his skull in softer tones, and you can’t help but notice how enchanting he looks, gazing upon his idol with adoration. For a moment, you imagine what it would be like for him to look at you like that.

Mettaton distracts you from thinking too much about that, and you join the hoards of screaming fans as he blows kisses to you all. The show starts with him talking about his newest movie, which the entire underground seems pumped for, and the trailer plays. Then the quizzes start, and a few lucky monsters are pulled onto the stage and tested in their Mettaton knowledge. It’s a whirlwind of excitement and comedy and action, and when the stage is cleared and the lights are casting a pink tinge over everything, you have to catch your breath from laughing and cheering. No quiz show on the surface is anything like this- nowhere near as exciting, or full of seemingly near-death experiences, or as glittery. 

But then... Mettaton disappears for a moment, and reappears with something black and lacy draped around his boxy frame. There’s whistles and murmurs from the crowd around you, and you feel yourself flushing despite the lack of sex appeal by human standards. You’ve been down here for much too long, you think idly as you glance at Papyrus. So many things are attractive to you that never would have been before. Like that slack-jawed, heavily blushing skeleton next to you. Or the robot with the flashing lights arranged in a heart shape on his screen, lingerie hugging his corners, a pink spotlight trained on him. A sultry tune has started playing around you, and you smile as you vaguely recognise it from somewhere- strangely, you’re reminded of visits to your grandma where she let you play her antique record player. This must be an old song, then. But you’re pretty sure you won’t be thinking of grandmothers after this performance...

“Relax, kick your shoes off baby  
Relax, here we are alone  
Relax, if the phone rings, let it  
Just forget it, we're not at home...”

Oh, this is Elvis! In Mettaton’s voice, of course, which has managed to gain an soft, smooth tone to it even though it’s entirely synthetic. You don’t have time to wonder where he got access to Elvis songs when it’s like he’s trying to seduce you from the stage, however. How the hell is a robot in lace singing Elvis doing it for you? 

“Defrost, your charms  
There's only the two of us here  
Come in my arms  
And make yourself comfortable dear...”

At least you’re not the only one. Literally the entire audience is blushing in various colours, open mouthed or grinning, wide eyed and obviously turned on. Now you know why this show was scheduled later than the usual ones. This is premium late-night viewing, definitely not suitable for kids.

“Relax, let's get cozy baby  
Come on, let your concrete crack  
Cut loose, life is worth the livin'  
When you're givin', come on relax.”

The music slows, and Mettaton finishes the song. Then his screen flashes- was that supposed to be a wink?- and he bows.

“Thank you very much, beauties and gentlebeauties.” The spotlight flickers out, and the room in shrouded in darkness. A murmur starts up when the lights flash back on and Mettaton is gone, and the doors behind you open, signalling the end of the show. 

You’re extremely overheated in your warm clothes, and not because of the weather. Papyrus isn’t fairing much better, a permanent orange flush attached to his cheekbones, and he walks as if in a dream as you exit the studio with the rest of the audience. You were going to have dessert at the hotel before you left, but you think it’s best if you both head home. He agrees when you ask him, and the trip home is quiet as he stares out at the water, and you stare at him.

“Tra la la~ I think we’re in for a heatwave...” the River Person sings as you arrives in Snowdin. You glare at them, wondering if they knows what happened tonight, or if they’re just spouting random BS like you’ve been told they do. No matter. You thank him for the ride and trudge home, still warm despite the cold breeze that wafts through the sleepy town. Papyrus doesn’t say a word to you, seeming to be deep in thought as you enter the house and shake the snow from your shoes. 

“Aye, guys, some show, huh?” Sans calls from the couch, standing up and stretching. Oh yeah, he would’ve watched it on TV. You wonder if he was as affect as everyone else.

“YES. QUITE. GOODNIGHT.” Papyrus goes straight upstairs without another word, and Sans looks at you.

“Hey, I have no idea, alright?” you answer defensively as you start to strip off you layers. “He’s been like that since the show finished.”

“Hmm. I’ll go talk to him. Goodnight, and thanks again for taking him.”

You watch the shorter skeleton trudge upstairs, and collapse on the couch, tired and slightly flustered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French chef voice: the RP is highly suspect! He knows... something...
> 
> Relax is just one of those songs... you know the ones. Go listen, it’s great.
> 
> I swear I have the next chapter half written already. And I swEaR you will get something juicy.


	11. Chapter 11- hella nsfw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You help a friend in need. It’s not like you’ve been dying to do this for weeks or anything...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skip this whole chapter if you don’t like nsfw. You have been warned.

You’re warm. You’re really warm. 

You crack open your eyes to blink confusedly around the living room. The air is heavy with the smell of cinnamon and orange, and you have to throw off your blanket and unzip your hoodie as the sweat drips down your neck. Why are you so hot? Is Papyrus baking? What is going on?

You sit up, rubbing your eyes with a yawn, still exhausted from the night before. A light pressure on your forehead disappears as a piece of paper floats down to rest in your lap, and you squint at the messy comic-sans. 

\- call me when you wake up. and don’t go in pap’s room.

You scramble to find your cell phone, digging it out from inside the couch along with a handful of coins. Fanning yourself with one hand, you hit San’s speed dial with the other, and he picks up right away.

“What’s up, man? What’s going on?”

“All you gotta know is that Pap is sick today and won’t be going to training. I don’t want you going up there, ok?”

He sounds gruff, and you get the impression that he’s not telling you everything. “Is that why the house smells like a spider bake sale? And you’re gonna have another Hotland up in here soon, too. Where are you?”

“I’m gonna stay away until he’s better. Don’t wanna catch it.”

“Am I safe? Will I catch whatever he’s got?”

“If you haven’t already, you’ll probably be fine. Do you feel... uh... anything weird?”

You take a moment to assess yourself. You’re sweating, and strangely fidgety, but other than that, you feel fine, if a little hungry. “Nothing weird. Just hungry. And hot. Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for him? Not even make him breakfast?”

“Fine, fine. But do not go into his room, human.” It’s a warning, plain and simple- he’s not playing around. “No matter how much he might ask, he doesn’t need you.”

You peel off your hoodie, phone still glued to your ear. “Wait, if it’s not contagious, why do I need to avoid him? Can’t I, like... nurse him? Since you can’t? Why do I have to avoid him if I’m not in any danger? And why would he ask me to come in?”

You hear an exasperated sigh, and you can almost see him, rubbing the space between his eyes. When he speaks again, his voice has lowered, and it’s slightly sheepish. “You’re not gonna stop asking until I tell you, are ya. Fine. He’s in heat.”

You blink. “In heat.”

“Yup.”

“In... heat,” you repeat, brain taking a while to catch up. You can’t laugh, come on idiot, it’s not funny. Obviously monsters do things a little differently. “For like... reproduction?”

“Something like that. Or if one has a large build up of magic. That’s where the heat and the smell is coming from. I had to leave because... well... I don’t want to, uh...”

“Because you don’t want yours to be triggered, right? And... you don’t want me up there because he’s gonna... want some help... Oh boy...” You’re flushing again, and this time it isn’t just the heat. Ha. Which heat are you taking about now? The one making the air heavy or the one that could land you in bed with the skeleton you’re hardcore crushing on? “How long does this last?”

“Depends who it is. Last time, his lasted four days.” Sans clears his throat. “So. Don’t go in. Just let him get through it, he’ll stay in his room until it’s over. You can eat at Grillby’s on my tab or cook, whatever you like. I’ll call you to see how things are going.”

“Wait, but Sans-“ you start, but he’s replaced by a dial tone, and you stare at your phone, then up at Papyrus’ door. You can’t hear anything, but your mind is suddenly filled with images of Papyrus taking care of his heat by himself, and you understand why Sans didn’t want to tell you in the first place. The idea has turned you on, but you’re also very curious. What does a heat even involve? If it’s anything like surface animals, he’ll probably have some very specific needs... How do skeletons reproduce? This would be a great opportunity to satisfy your curiosity, but at the risk of angering your host....

But Sans isn’t here, probably won’t be for the next few days. 

Your leg bounces nervously, and you chew on your lip, logic and fear fighting with curiosity and desire. You’re not ashamed to admit that Sans scares you, even though he hasn’t shown himself to be capable of anything harmful like Undyne has. But he still could be, he has magic after all. But Papyrus is up there, dealing with a heat all by himself, while you’re here, able bodied and willing and also very much in love with him. It would be such a shame to waste this opportunity- and you’re only thinking of him. Would this count as taking advantage of him, when you’d be helping him satisfy his needs? 

You’ve almost convinced yourself, but first you need to eat. You force yourself into the kitchen and pull out some leftovers, heating them up, and make some tea to go with it. Eating slowly, taking as much time as you can in case you find a way to convince yourself that you shouldn’t do this. Then you plate some food for Papyrus, as you’re sure he hasn’t eaten yet, and wash up your plate and cup, then assess yourself.

Nope. You still want to do this. God, your heart is pounding. Hopefully it won’t be the only thing pounding soon.

“Ok, that was too much,” you tell yourself, snorting at your own humor, and take the plate upstairs with you. The spicy-sweet smell gets stronger as you approach Papyrus’ door, and you look down at yourself for a moment. Tank top and sweatpants that you stole from Sans the other day, not exactly a prime seduction outfit, but hopefully you wouldn’t need to put a lot of work in anyway.

“Papyrus?” You call, tapping on his door. You hear movement on the other side, but no answer. “It’s just me. I brought you breakfast. Are you ok?”

“NO.” A beat. He sounds breathless. “I MEAN YES. I MEAN... PLEASE GO AWAY.”

Well, you weren’t expecting that. You don’t want to force yourself on him, but... “Why, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

“BECAUSE IF YOU DONT, IM GOING TO ASK YOU TO COME IN.”

“Would that be a bad thing?”

“NO- YES! I DONT...” He heaves a sigh, or is it a sob? You can’t tell, but it tugs on your heartstrings. “I DONT WANT YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THIS.” 

“Papyrus, whatever it is, I’m not going to think less of you for it.” You bite your lip, shifting against the door. “Look, Sans already told me what’s going on. I wanted to see if... if you needed help. Because I’m willing. To, uh, help you. But if you don’t want-“

“WAIT!” He must be afraid that you’re about to leave. “COME IN!”

You open the door, and the air hits you, hot and cloying. You’re suddenly reminded of your first college roommate, who turned the apartment into a smoke box at the end of every exam, trying to forgot her bad grades or bad boyfriends or just really bad week. But this is sweeter, more intoxicating, you can taste the scent on your tongue. Papyrus is huddled on his bed with one eye literally on fire, naked and surrounded by wisps of orange magic that sparkle and flow around him. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before, and you can’t tear your eyes away.

“Do You Still Want To Help?” he asks in a quieter voice tinged with dread and desperation. 

“Yes.” There is no hesitation in your words, and you close the door behind you and set the plate on the ground before approaching his bed. “I’m not afraid of you. I will do anything I can to help you.”

“Then...” He slowly uncurls and holds out his arms, magic rising off him like steam. “Please... Touch Me.”

You ease yourself onto the bed and slip your arms around him, and he holds you tightly, almost tight enough to hurt, as you stroke his skull. His bones are hot, orange sparkles rise like disturbed dust when you touch him, and the shivers wrack his frame. He says nothing, though, and you continue to offer a comforting touch on his skull, shoulders, arms. He stares at you intently as you pull back, and this time you can’t hold yourself back anymore. You kiss him, lips on bone, and he gasps and wraps his arms around your waist. It’s about as comfortable as kissing a hard surface sounds, but it’s Papyrus, not just a surface, and you like it. 

You’re flushed when you pull back, and he’s panting, though from the kiss or the obvious effort he’s making to hold himself back, you can’t be sure. Well, you don’t want him to hold back, that’s not what you’re here for, so you rub his arms and smile encouragingly. “Where do you want me to touch you?”

“I- OH- UM-“ He holds a hand over his sternum, hands shaking. “EVERYWHERE- I NEED IT EVERYWHERE...”

He doesn’t know where to start. Alright. You place your hands on his ribcage and drag them down, and he jerks and let’s out this startled moan that makes you whip your head up and stare at him as you do it again. Holy shit, that face... you don’t want to tease him in this state, but that was possibly the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You’re extremely turned on at this point, but you don’t want to take the attention away from him. He needs it more than you do.

You already know you can get him off by touching his spine, so you go for that next, closing your hand around it and pumping, feeling the rough vertebrae catch on your palm. He absolutely melts into a whimpering mess, and you let him hold onto you as he shakes and whines and the glow that had been previously muted by all the orange starts to shine brighter behind his ribs. With a flash and a cry, he comes, but you’re in no way done.

“MY SOUL!” he gasps, curling a hand near his chest and drawing it out between you. “PLEASE TOUCH IT.”

“I can do that?” The bright white inverse heart hovers in the air, so different to yours, throwing off its own tendrils like a miniature sun. Wasn’t this the entire culmination of his being? And he wanted you to touch it? Hesitantly, you bring a finger to its surface, almost pulling away again from the heat it was making, and he chokes and drops his skull on your shoulder, using his own hands to close yours around his soul.

“PLEASE,” he begs, voice strangled and muffled against your skin. “PLEASE.”

So you rub your thumbs over the hot, smooth surface and try not to worry as he screeches and clutches you hard enough to leave marks under your top. You don’t mind, you were expecting this to get rough. He sounds like he’s being tortured, not pleasured, but when you slow your touch he lets out a complaining whine, so you speed up again, kneading the construct of magic and listening to his outrageous noises. Soon enough, he’s coming again, and the soul flashes in your hand, but he begs you to keep going so you do. Two more orgasms later, he grabs your arm, breathing heavily, and you let go of the soul and let it bob back into his chest.

“You’re not finished yet, are you?” You ask softly, seeing the magic still rising off him. He shakes his head. “Sans said this usually lasts four days?”

“If I’m Alone.” He’s still resting on your shoulder, and you stroke his skull gently, letting him rest. “It Should Be Quicker With Someone Else.”

“So you were alone, last heat? No one wanted to help you?” Your heart is aching for him, because of course no one wanted to help Papyrus with his heat. He has no friends besides Undyne, and Sans didn’t seem to want to help him in any way. The image of him curled up in bed for four days of this desperation is enough to bring tears to your eyes. “I’m sorry, baby. I’ll take care of you this time. Whatever you want from me, I’ll do it. We’ll get through this together.”

He tightens his grip on you, and you decide to lay him down so you can better access him. Lying beside him, clasping him in your arms, you let him nuzzle into your chest as he starts to heat up again, legs sliding against the sheets as he tries to keep from flailing. You run a hand down his ribs, then reach further down and touch his legs, trailing your hands up to his pelvis. His head flies back into the pillows with a groan, hands twisting up the sheets, and you rub at his pelvis, dipping your hands inside and finding every little nook and cranny, trying to remember a little biology. That’s the tailbone, right, or something starting with ‘i’, and that’s- no, wait, you have no idea. Not that it matters when Papyrus is squirming and moaning under your touch. You watch in wonder as more orange magic starts to gather, pooling inside his pelvis until it’s a semi-solid matter that you can poke. 

If he can do this, then... “Papyrus, can you form things with this?”

“I-I Think So?” he pants, unable to stop moving even when you’re not touching him. “I’ve Never Tried. I Don’t Know What To Make.”

“Hmm...” If you can get him to form something human-like, this will get very interesting for you. You trail your fingers over the orange magic, watching as he whimpers and shakes, and start to knead lightly at the soft surface. It feels a little little clay and a little like rubber, but also nothing like either. He’s starting to jerk now, so you shift yourself until you’re straddling his legs, hips flush with his, holding him down with your hands still buried inside his pelvis. “Try to focus on this, let your magic form something in my hands. I’ll shape it for you.”

He squeezed his sockets shut, holding himself still, and the mass under your hands softens and becomes flowing, malleable. You coax it up, caressing it gently into a vaguely phallic shape, and stop it before it becomes too long. “Ok, stop. You’re good, you can solidify it now.” The magic hardens under your hands, and you examine your work with a critical eye. Well, it won’t win any awards for realism, but it doesn’t need to. You start to stroke it, grinning as he cries out and starts to thrust his pelvis in time with your touches. He’s crazed, having controlled himself for that long and craving more friction than you’ve been giving him, and you slip off him and sit between his legs as he fucks himself into your hands. 

This new shape seems to be working very well for him, and he comes quickly. To your immense surprise, his cock- as that’s what it seems to be now, not just a lump of magic- shoots liquified magic from the tip, splattering his bones and you. You blink in shock, glancing down at the orange, shimmery liquid on your tank top, still holding him as he starts up again. You hesitantly stick your tongue out to taste it as a drop rolls down your cheek. The flavour is orange and cinnamon, like his scent, and fizzes on your tongue slightly like a soda. What a pleasant surprise!

He comes again, showering you in magic, and you laugh, wiping your face. “Wait, wait, let me do something. You’ll love it.” Leaning down over his pelvis, you close your mouth over the tip of his cock, his flavour bursting on your tongue as he wiggles his hips, whimpering. Slowly, you take him into your mouth, realising you made him a little big for this, but no matter. You can handle this. You hold onto his shaking legs and bob your head, his essence filling your senses, and he can’t control himself any more. You let him thrust into your mouth, his delicious noises filling the air and stirring your arousal. God, if he loves your mouth, imagine his reaction to the rest of you? 

You give up counting his orgasms, but you’re a mess of sticky magic when you finally surface again, gasping and coughing from some that went up your nose. He’s satisfied for a few minutes, catching his breath, and you sit up on your knees, wiping your face and catching his attention. “Hey, sweetheart, how are you feeling?”

“SO... GOOD...” he breathes, bright eyelights raking over your frame. You look down at your messy shirt and decide that maybe it’s time to really get down to business. 

“I can make you feel even better than this.” You pull your shirt over your head, tossing it away and trailing your hands down your bare chest. Your nipples have been painfully stiff for the the last few hours, and it’s such a relief to touch them, roll them between your fingers, squeeze your breasts like you wish he would... you bite your lip to prevent a moan slipping out, trying to focus on him. He’s watching you intently, and somehow you can tell that the expression in his sockets is Hungry. You let your breasts go and thumb at your waistband, pushing down your sweatpants and long-soaked underwear, kicking them away and crouching naked between his legs. “Do you trust me?”

He nods fervently, hands clenching as if itching to touch you. They’ll be time for that later, you hope, but your main objective today is to wear him out, somehow satiate this heat. Carefully, you climb on top of him, and lower yourself to rest against his cock, unable to stop yourself from grinding against it to satisfy some of the painful arousal that’s been building up. You’re already breathing heavily, as is he, and you hold his gaze as he slips easily inside you. Both of you groan desperately and start to move. God, you’ve been craving this so much. You made him just the size you like, and he hits all the right spots inside you, making you moan out his name as you move perfectly against each other.

He gets worked up very quickly, but you don’t seem to be moving fast enough for him. His frantic thrusting brings your first orgasm crashing down around you like a tidal wave, but he doesn’t give you time to recover. “Flip me over,” you gasp, hanging on for dear life on top of him. “This’ll be... ahh~ easier if you’re on top!”

You help him with this, rolling onto the bed as he rolls on top of you, and immediately you can feel how much better this new position is. He’s got the hang of thrusting, and thrust he does, rough and strong and so, so perfect. You’re quite happy to lay there with your legs spread and be fucked into the bed, unable to catch your breath as the pleasure builds and releases and builds again. He’s relentless, and loud, and definitely enjoying himself, and you pull him down to kiss again, then rest your forehead against his, staring into his orange eyelights and the flame that flickers wildly in his socket. 

There’s a rising feeling in your chest, different from everything else, and suddenly there’s light between you. Your soul and his, being drawn together, and when they touch suddenly you FEEL him. Not what he’s doing to you, but Him, his thoughts and emotions, beneath the desperation how afraid he is to hurt you and lose you after this, and his personality, his hopes and dreams beyond that. He wants to be loved, he wants to protect, he wants to do and see new things. He adores his brother and values you more than he ever tells you, because you’re kind and sweet and don’t treat him with the barely veiled disdain that almost everyone else does, thinking he doesn’t notice. Well he notices, and he tries so hard, but somehow it’s never enough. It’s enough for you though. It always is.

Because you adore him. You feel your own emotions now, and you know he feels them too. He’s able to see how much you love the silly personality he puts on and the way he talks and how passionate he is about everything. Your desire to protect him and give him the love he deserves without being overbearing like Sans is sometimes. Deeper still, how torn you are between wanting to get back to the surface and wanting to stay with him. 

You’re crying, you notice in the back of your mind as your eyes refocus and you feel how hoarse your voice is. God, you hope you haven’t been screaming. Papyrus’ tears flow freely down his face, too, and you reach up to wipe them away as his thrusting starts to slow down. Your souls have separated and floated back where they belong, and you hiccup a laugh that turns into a gasp, wrapping your arms around Papyrus’ neck as his gentler movements coax another orgasm out of you. A moment later, he shudders and collapses on top of you, skull resting between your breasts as you both catch your breath, absolutely exhausted. How long have you been here? You’re starving, so it’s probably been all day. What a way to spend the day...

There’s silence for a while, except for your heavy breaths. He’s not as hot anymore, you notice, stroking his skull lovingly. Perhaps this is nearly over. You feel slick and sticky and heavy, and your pussy is sore from the constant pounding, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Although you are a little embarrassed about him having seen inside your head. There’s no way things can go back to the way they were now. This isn’t like a one-time hand-job that you can both never talk about again. You love him, and he knows it, and you’re afraid of what that means.

“Human.” You’re pulled from your thoughts by his low, sleepy voice, as he shifts his head to meet your gaze. As the mist of orange subsided and you can see the white of his bones again, you can tell that he’s blushing now. “Thank You. So Much. I Can’t... I Don’t Know How To-“

You shush him, pulling his face up to meet your lips as you kiss him gently. When you pull away, you’re both smiling. “It was my pleasure, sweetie. Literally and figuratively. I told you, I’d do anything to help you.”

“You Did. You Really Helped Me. This Would’ve Been Torture Without You.”

His frank admission makes you want to cry again, even though this is probably a common thing for most monsters and they’re all just have to learn to deal with it. But you know Papyrus is sensitive, and sweet, and deserves more than just to curl up in bed for half a week with incurable horniness. You’re suddenly struck with the purpose of a heat, though, and your eyes widen. “Uh, Pap... quick question... if your heat is for reproduction... am I going to be...?”

“No,” he murmurs, nuzzling back into your soft chest and tightening his arms around you. “When Our Souls Met... Neither Of Us Wanted It. It Only Happens If Both Of Us Want To Make A Child.”

“Oh... that’s... kind of a relief. Not that I wouldn’t want to raise a child with you, but...”

“We’re Not Ready.”

You nod, looking away as your flush creeps down your neck. You’re not even together, not really, and something like that would be so far in the future that you can’t even picture it. You feel like there’s a serious conversation to be had first, now that he knows exactly how you feel about him. It needs to be got out into the open, as well as whether today is going to mean anything.

Your stomach grumbles loudly, making him start and look down at you with wide sockets, and you giggle, placing a hand in your belly. “I’m really hungry, sorry. We should probably go and get cleaned up, and eat something. If you’re done, that is.”

“You’re So Comfortable,” he grumbles, but rolls off you with a sigh. It seems it’s time to get back to something like the real world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I got this out in record time. Yes, it’s absolutely because I was dying to wreck or be wrecked by this adorable skellie and I find smut easier to write lately. And yes, this is actually furthering the plot.
> 
> Any guesses to how things are gonna play out after all that?


	12. Chapter 12: nsfw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heat continues. You talk. Someone slips up.

You’re sore, and exhausted, unused to so much activity, but eventually you manage to pull yourself out of Papyrus’ arms and clean yourself up. A few bites from the forgotten spaghetti you had brought Papyrus tides you over until after you’ve showered and redressed. You’re not completely sure if he’s finished yet, so you don’t bother with anything more than a borrowed MTT shirt and shorts, leaving your own clothes in the sink to soak. It’s during this time that you find out the boys usually take their clothes to the Inn to be washed, which Papyrus intends to do with his sheets eventually. You also discover that the liquid magic that you had become very aquatinted with over the course of the day eventually disappears on its own. How efficient, you muse.

You find yourself pacing the kitchen, wondering what to make for dinner, when Papyrus comes down the stairs, having showered and dressed himself and looking quite tired. You tell him to sit down and watch TV while you cook for him, which he surprisingly does without arguement. Not that you have the energy to cook much. You almost shout for joy when you discover a few packets of instant noodles in the back of the cupboard. Dinner fixed, you join Papyrus on the couch and zone in on the Mettaton rerun that’s on.

Seeing the bot rolling around onstage reminds you of something you’ve been wondering about. “So, were you expecting this? Or was it the show last night that triggered it? I saw you were pretty flustered...”

He colors, eyes fixed on the TV. “I THINK... PERHAPS THE SHOW MADE IT COME EARLIER. I HAVEN’T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO MY MAGIC LEVELS.”

“Ah. Makes sense. It was a pretty awesome show, though.”

“IT WAS.”

You nod and slurp your noodles, uncomfortable silence settling between you. The weight of all the important discussions you need to have weighs on your mind. But how do you even start? ‘Hey, so we just fucked and you know I love you, so are we going to talk about it?’ How do you even talk about something like this? The air is getting more awkward by the second, and you chance a glance up at him, only to quickly look away when he meets your eyes. 

“HUMAN.” His voice is soft, despite having returned to his usual volume. You look up again and force yourself to hold his gaze. “DO YOU WISH TO TALK?”

“I... don’t know where to start,” you admit, turning your body to face him.

He turns off the TV, a sure sign that this is going to be a serious discussion. “LET US START WITH THE FACT OF HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME.”

Wow, going straight for the jugular. You clear your throat and look away, feeling a flush warm your cheeks. “Uh. Yeah. I’m... sorta kinda really in love with you. So there’s that.” Mouth dry, you try to swallow, staring down at your bowl. “I swear I wasn’t trying to use your condition for my own personal benefit. I just... wanted to help. Honest.”

“I BELIEVE YOU. I HAVE SEEN INTO YOUR SOUL, AND I DID NOT SEE ANY SELFISH INTENT.” Oh yeah, that happened. He knows everything about you now. You feel his fingers on your chin, turning your head to look at him again. He has only the most open expression as he looks at you, and your heart flutters a little. “I DO NOT WISH TO DISAPPOINT YOU, BUT I DO NOT WISH TO GIVE YOU FALSE HOPE, EITHER. MY DATING MANUAL SAYS NOTHING ABOUT THIS KIND OF SITUATION. I DON’T... THAT IS, I’M NOT...” 

“You don’t have to give me an answer straight away.” You lay a hand on his knee, smiling encouragingly. “Take some time. I don’t expect you to love me back straight away. Or at all. There’s no pressure. I value your friendship, Papyrus, and I don’t want anything to ruin it. Not unrequited feelings, and not sex, especially under the circumstances.”

He smiles then, and it looks relieved. “THANK YOU. I VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP AS WELL.” He pulls you into a hug, but almost immediately pushes you away again, looking pained.

“What? What is it, Pap?”

“ITS NOTHING,” he says quickly, picking up his bow of noodles. “IM-“

A ringing cuts through whatever he was going to say, and you jump up to grab your phone from the floor, exactly where you left it this morning. It’s Sans, and you sit down again and take a deep breath, dread filling your stomach even as you try to smile so that your voice sounds relaxed. “Oh, hey, man.”

“IS TH-“ 

You stop Papyrus with a finger on his teeth, shushing him. Sans can’t know he’s better already, after telling you the heats usually last 4 days. 

“Hi. Just checking up on things. How are you?”

“I’m fine, Sans. Just watching TV. Papyrus is still upstairs, if you’re wondering about that.” Adding some details to the lie you’re spinning should make it more believable. You frown as the taller skeleton takes a breath, probably about to call you out on your lie, and he quietens down, although he seems to be getting restless. “He didn’t eat the food I left by his door, is that normal? I’d hate for him to starve in there.”

“He’ll eat when he’s done, I promise. He won’t really be able to think about food at the moment. You know.” He coughs, embarrassed, and wraps it up. “Anyway. Thanks. I’ll call again tomorrow.”

Papyrus is staring at you intently as you put the phone down, and you take your finger away, only just noticing he feels warmer again. “What?”

“YOU LIED TO HIM.”

“Yeah, I did.” You reach up and press your hand to his skull, the bone hot against your hand. “You weren’t always this warm, were you?”

“N-NO- I THINK- AH...” he avoids your gaze, but he can’t avoid the orange tinge his bones are starting to take. “IM SORRY. IM A LITTLE- ER-“

“You’re still in heat, aren’t you.” You place your bowl on the floor and straighten up, watching as he hides his face, bouncing his leg nervously. “I only tided you over a little. No need to be embarrassed. Do you want me to help again?”

He nods vigorously, hands still covering his face, and you gently pull them away, caressing his cheekbones. Moving slowly, you clamber up and straddle his lap, and he gasps and trembles as you brush against his pelvis through his shorts. 

“Do you remember how to make a cock?” you whisper near his skull, and he nods, concentrating, until a bulge grows between you and presses into your clothed warmth. “Well done, Papy!” You grind against it, watching his sockets flutter and his breathing quicken.

“OH... HUMAN... PLEASE...” 

You rise off him and pull off your shorts, then peel down his. His magic springs free, dripping precum, and you take your place on his lap again and close your hands around it, kissing his jaw as you set a brisk pace with your hands. He whines and wraps his arms around your waist, squirming under you. 

“Is that nice, Papyrus?” You breathe, trailing your lips down to meet his vertebrae. 

“YES!” He gasps, tilting back his skull as you kiss each lumpy section of bone, tongue darting out to taste him. He tastes like chalk and orange, and the magic that holds him together buzzes on your tongue. He shudders as he releases liquid magic all over the two of you, and when you pull back he buries his head in your shoulder, voice quiet and shaky. “Please... Can I Please Be Inside You?”

Your breath catches at such a lewd but adorable request from him, and you giggle through your blush, caressing his skull as you lift yourself over him. “Of course you can, darling!” You can’t hold back your groan as you sink down onto him, and it’s not all pleasure- you’re so tender that this actually hurts a little. But you push past the pain and rock on his lap, biting your lip as sensations override the soreness. 

Papyrus’ hands are a vice on your hips, turning your rocking into bouncing as he starts to thrust up into you, incoherent babbles falling from his teeth. You hold onto his ribcage, hooking your fingers between the bones for better grip, and let him fuck you as hard as he needs to, quickly losing control of your voice. You don’t think you’ve ever slept with anyone who’s been this insatiable, or managed to drag so many orgasms out of you in one day, but Papyrus surpasses all your expectations and also most of your sexual experiences. You come, hard, around his cock, and he quickly follows, coating your insides with magic again. It’s actually soothing against your abused walls, which is a good thing since he doesn’t seem inclined to stop rutting into you any time soon.

It’s not till you’ve pulled another orgasm out of him that you collapse against him and pat him exhaustedly. “Pap. Papy. Wait a sec. Please.”

He stills, obviously with some effort, panting hard. “Human? Are You Alright?”

“I need to- I’m sorry, sweetie, but I have to get off...” You pull yourself off him, legs weak, lower body pulsing as you sink into the couch next to him. “I’m sorry... I’m just really sore, but I can still-“

“Where? Here?” He touches your pussy gently, and you twitch, gasping sharply. “Let me heal you.”

“You can do that?” You spread your legs, curious. “I mean I know you can heal, but I didn’t know you could... fix... this... o-oh...” His fingers are glowing green with healing magic as he slowly massages your vulva, your clit, then dips inside, soothing cool spreading through you. You rock into his hand, whimpering softly, his ministrations fading the burning ache and turning to gentle pleasure. He’s watching you with a hungry gaze, drinking in your reactions, and you grin deliriously at him, realising now is the perfect time to raise the fantasy that you’d thought about more than once. “D-Does healing magic work through your tongue too?”

He considers, and his eyelights glint cheekily as he unfurls his long tongue and it starts to change colour from orange to green. He wastes no time in replaces his fingers with it, and you choke on a moan, arching on the couch. It’s WONDERFUL, feeling just as amazing as you’d always thought it would, and spreading that cool feeling deeper inside you, reaching every overworked nerve until you’re absolutely buzzing with it. You hold onto his skull, and he squeezes his hands into the soft flesh of your thighs, holding you down.

“Pap- P-Papyrus- oh gOD!” you wail, jerking as he finds that sweet spot inside you. “Just like th-that, oh yeah...”

He hums against you, that glorious tongue massaging you thoroughly, and you clutch his smooth skull tightly in your hands, shaking as your orgasm washes over you, more gentle than usual but no less welcome. He pauses as you sink weakly against the couch, breathing hard, and straightens up, touching his teeth which glisten with both your fluids. “Hmm... You Taste Very Interesting. I Think I Like It.”

Your jaw drops at the blatantly lewd words, before you grin and push him with your foot. “Oh, Papy... you naughty thing...”

He eyes you, browbone raised. “I Would Protest, But Your Tone Suggests That You Mean That In A Good Way.”

“Yes, I do.” You sit up, no longer feeling the burn gained over the course of the day, and stretch a little, smiling wickedly. “I mean that in a very good way. A ‘Local Skeleton is actually not as innocent as everyone believes’ kinda way.”

“I Have No Idea What You’re Talking About.” You could swear he’s smirking, before he picks up his bowl of noodles again and takes a mouthful. 

“Sure, sure... how are you feeling now, anyway?”

“Better, For Now.” He smiles at you, and you note that the orange had faded again, as has his magic. You feel sticky again, but it can wait, as can putting your pants back on. Who need them anyway?

The night progresses and finds you lying on the couch, clasped in his arms and watching TV. You convince him to sleep on the couch with you, since you’re too lazy to get up and you unashamedly crave his arms around you, and soon enough you both drift off, MTT reruns playing in the background. 

Sometime in the early morning, you register heavy pants against your back, and a hot length grinding against your heat. “I’m Sorry, So Sorry, I Didn’t Mean To...” he whispers shakily as you grab hold of his arm, but you shut him up by pressing back on him, his cock rubbing up against your slick folds and making both of you gasp and pant. You lift your leg, and he slips inside, groaning against your shoulder. You cry out as he thrusts into you, still half asleep and quickly getting lost in the sensations. A few long, drawn out orgasms later, you pass out, blissfully spent, with bony arms wrapped around you and a skeleton face nuzzling into your neck.

The next morning you wake with your shorts on and your blanket pulled up, tucked securely into the couch. It’s late morning, going by the light coming in from the windows, and you can smell flowery tea and pasta. Stretching with a groan, you prop yourself up and peer at the breakfast that’s been served on the coffee table near you, blinking sleepily. You feel a little achy again, but it’ll pass. 

“GOOD MORNING!” Papyrus calls from the stairs, dressed in fresh clothes, bones shining. “I APOLOGISE FOR THE UNEXPECTED WAY I WOKE YOU LAST NIGHT. IT, UH... WASN’T VERY POLITE OF ME.”

“Are you kidding? Best sleep interruption I’ve ever had.” Your tone is playful, and it garners the intended result, his blush. Chuckling, you sit up and reach for the tea, taking a slow sip and letting it clear your senses. “Thanks, by the way. You’re so thoughtful.”

“YES, WELL... THE GREAT PAPYRUS PRIDES HIMSELF ON TAKING GOOD CARE OF THOSE WHO HELP HIM!” He clears his throat, approaching the couch apprehensively. “HOW ARE YOU FEELING? WE HAD QUITE AN ACTIVE DAY YESTERDAY.”

“We did, didn’t we?” You smile up at him warmly. “I’m feeling okay. What about you? What are you doing today?”

“I CANNOT BE SURE OF MY COMPLETE RECOVERY YET, SO I WILL STAY HOME AND WORK ON SOME PAPER PUZZLES.” He shows you a half-finished word search.  
“PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN ME?”

“I’d love to!”

He joins you on the couch, and you spend a lovely morning eating breakfast and watching him draw up his ‘Junior Jumbles’ as he calls them. You help him out by suggesting words for them, and eventually he gives you pen and paper to make your own. It’s quiet and peaceful, just the two of you writing and exchanging words and ideas, and over the course of the morning you end up with your legs in his lap, watching him work. You like to observe his face, the way the ridiculously, implausibly malleable bone forms an intense look when he’s concentrating, how expressive his eye sockets are, pinpricks focused on the paper. He’s such an interesting person, and your affection for him only grows stronger.

He glances at you eventually, noticing you’re no longer drawing. You can’t help but let your eyes trail down to his teeth, remembering how you kissed him the day before. It was nice, and you wish you could do it again, now that everything has calmed down a little. 

“You’ve Looked At Me Like That Before,” he muses, holding your gaze. His expression is frank and honest. “I Remember, When We Fell In The Kitchen. And Outside. That Means You Want To Kiss Me, Right?”

“How did you know that?” you splutter at the unexpected question.

“You Keep Looking At My Teeth. I’m Not Stupid.” He smiles cheerfully. “You Can Ask, You Know. I’ll Say Yes.”

He’s so cute... you have to still your wildly hammering heartbeat before you can respond. You’re not going to turn down the offer of a kiss from your favourite skeleton. “Well, then, Papyrus... would you let me kiss you?”

“Of Course!” He leans toward you, slipping an arm around your waist. “I Need Practice. And Perhaps This Will Help Me Figure Out If I Can Return Your Feelings!”

How can you resist such logic? You scoot closer, practically sitting on his lap as you bring your hands to either side of his face and lean in, pressing your lips gently to his teeth. Without the sexual frenzy behind it, the kiss is gentle and sweet, unusual and pleasant. It still feels like kissing a flat surface, but knowing that surface is alive and has such an adorable personality is enough for you.

A feeling rises inside you, but it’s vague and a little distant, and you’re not even sure it’s you. When you go to pull away, however, Papyrus pulls you closer, pressing you against him, and you slip your arms around him, humming into the kiss. Well, it appears that he’s enjoying himself, anyway... 

Your phone interrupts the moment, blaring its ringtone into the silence and startling both of you apart. You pick it up and smile up at Papyrus as you answer it, reaching up to tap your finger against his teeth as a reminder to keep quiet.

“Hey, buddy. Everything’s the same over here.”

“Good to hear. You bored yet?” Sans sounds groggy, and you wonder where he’s staying.

“Nah, just watching lotsa TV and napping. Taking a leaf out of your book.” Papyrus rolls his eyelights at your lie, and you grin, blowing him a silent kiss. “Where are you, by the way? Staying at the Inn or something?”

“Nah, Grillbz lets me hang out at the bar sometimes. He’s cool like that.”

“Ahh, I see. Not cooler than your bro, I hope.” 

“Not a chance. No one could be cooler than Papyrus.”

You stroke said skeleton’s face, and he nuzzles into your touch, watching your lips. Eager to kiss again? “I definitely agree. I’m kinda missing him to be honest. It’s gotta be difficult up there, all alone.”

“Yeah, well, it’ll be over soon.” He yawns. “Anyway. Call you back.”

“Bye, Sans.” The call ends abruptly, and you toss the phone away, giving your full attention back to Papyrus. “Now, where were we?”

“Right Here.” He leans in himself this time, eagerly claiming your lips.

You move your lips against his teeth, testing how movable they are. It’s a little difficult to make out properly with someone who doesn’t have lips, but you’re figuring it out. He’s definitely enjoying your efforts, breathing shakily and tightening his grip around you. Gradually, you notice him warming up again under your touch, and he whines a little when you pull back to catch your breath, both of you flushed and panting.

“Gettin a little heated there?” you breathe, stroking his cheekbone.

He blinks rapidly, assessing himself with a sheepish grin. “M-Maybe A Little...” 

“Hmm, lucky for you, I can do something about that...” You shift onto his lap just like yesterday, and softly press your lips to his vertebrae, kissing and licking the rough bones and relishing his hitched breaths and high moans. God, this skeleton is so addictive... you adore bestowing him with affection and hearing and feeling his reactions.

“Mmm... S-Stars... I Love Your Lips...” he stammers, squirming under your ministrations.

You smile against his bones, slipping your hands under his crop top and pushing it up over his ribs. “You’re about to love them even more in a moment...” Wiggling down, you press your lips against his sternum, and brush kisses over his ribs, slow and teasing, drawing out those shaky breaths. His reactions get more intense the lower you go, and pretty soon you’re on your knees in front of him, pulling down his shorts and looking up at him with lidded eyes. 

“I-I Hope You’re Not Uncomfortable Down There,” he mumbles, bringing a hand up to cup your face as he gazed down at you.

“Course not, Papy...” His magic hardens quickly, rising in front of your face, and you waste no time in taking him into your mouth, sucking lightly on the tip and watching him lose every bit of composure he had managed to hold onto until now. You can’t get over how tasty he is- you may be spoiled for human men after this. No human naturally tastes like oranges, after all. 

You stop with the teasing and take him in, losing yourself in the sound of his cries and the tingle he leaves on your tongue. His fingers tangle in your hair and hold on, and his pelvis thrusts into your mouth as he tips his head back, mouth open. You don’t even mind when he gets a little rougher, losing control as he chases his orgasm. When you resurface again, wiping your mouth and grinning, he pulls you up and kisses you firmly, appreciatively, long arms wrapping around you securely. You both fall across the couch, a tangled mess of limbs, and making out turns into grinding, which in turn finds you riding him into the couch, hard and fast just how he needs it.

Much later, when he’s finally sated and you wake up from a surprisingly refreshing nap on top of him, real life starts again. You shower, dress properly, and wander into the kitchen to start dinner while Papyrus tries to solve a particularly difficult jumble you’ve made for him. It feels so domestic, cooking for him, and you can almost pretend that this is your life now. An adorable monster partner, great sex, okay food, living in a cute little town together. It’s a wonderful vision. But it doesn’t last.

Your phone rings as you’re stirring the sauce for the pasta, and you answer it idly, rocking on your heels. “Honestly, do you really have to call twice a day?”

“Not like you’ve got anything better to do.”

“I assume you don’t either. I hope you’re not drinking too much, Papy would be very disappointed.”

“Eh, I’m pacing myself. He doesn’t have to know, anyway.” He pauses as he speaks to someone in the background, something about another basket of fries. “Watcha doin?”

“Cooking dinner, same as every night. I told you, literally nothing is happening over he-“

“HUMAN, I FINISHED YOUR JUMBLE!” Papyrus’ voice interrupts your bored reply, startling you into dropping the spoon into the sauce. Wide-eyes, you turn to him, and he freezes, eyeing the phone in your hand.

“Is that... Papyrus? But he’s... not supposed to be finished yet...” Sans’ confusion turns to something deeper, more dangerous, and before you can say anything, he hangs up. A moment later, the front door swings open, blowing in the snow and a very irate Sans, his sockets dark.

You drop your phone, and your stomach drops with it, only one thing coming to mind in this suddenly very complicated situation.

“Oh, shit...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops...
> 
> You know I’m not really that fond of the over-protective bro trope that people burden Sans with, despite having written it myself, so I’m gonna give him a good reason to be angry next chapter. Any guesses?


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are finally set in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu what’s this, some plot finally?

Waterfall is a different kind of quiet to Snowdin.

In the sweet little town, there’s the rush of a cold breeze, the creak of tree branches, distant yells of children. The crunch of footsteps in snow, music playing somewhere in the distance, and the sounds of the usual Grillby’s crowd carry through the air. It feels alive.

In Waterfall, it’s like everyone is hiding. You’re sure they’re not, really, but the steady drip or rush of water, the eery silence only broken by the rustling of reeds, or the whispers of echo flowers make it feel like there’s no one around. No one but you.

You stare out of Undyne’s window, feeling a shiver go through you. There’s nothing much to see, just an empty yard and a dummy, but the whole area is mysterious and weird. You don’t know if you like it or not. It wouldn’t matter if you didn’t, though. You have nowhere else to go right now.

Sans had arrived in a wave of angry, tense magic, invisible but tangible. You had been ready to defend your actions, tear apart his dramatic over-protectiveness, insist on your rights.

“You deliberately went against my instructions, you took advantage of my brother in his most vulnerable state! Papyrus doesn’t take intimacy lightly, you’re going to break his heart for your own selfish desires!”

“Papyrus is an adult!” you had protested at his angry accusations. “He can make his own choices, and he chose this!”

Papyrus had stepped between you, shielding you from his brother’s wrath, putting forth his own defense as well as yours. He had argued more seriously than you had ever seen him, standing up to Sans like the frustrated younger brother who demanded more freedom that he was. “WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE WHAT SHE CAN DO WITH ME? YOU CAN’T DO THINGS LIKE THIS, SANS!”

“Pap, you don’t know what all this means, you’re going to get hurt-“

“WHY MUST YOU TRY TO DIVIDE US?” he had enquired in annoyance. “WHY DONT YOU TRUST THE HUMAN WHEN SHE HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO ME?”

“Because they’re gonna die!” Sans had finally exclaimed, like he had been holding in a great secret and simply couldn’t anymore. 

That had quieted the two of you, until you demanded an explanation.

“Think about it. What are the chances of you making it out of here alive?” He sounded so defeated. Thought why he was the emotionally tired one here and not you, after such a morbid interruption, you had no idea. “You can’t live here forever- someone would find out, Undyne will get impatient, it’ll get back to the king... and you can’t honestly think His Majesty will let you keep your soul.”

“SANS WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?” Papyrus had demanded.

“I’m sorry bro, but no matter how you want to ignore it, you have to know what happens to humans when Asgore gets ahold of them. This one is no different.” He rubs at his skull in frustration, gesturing irritatedly at you. “This is the whole reason I didn’t want you getting too close- how do you think Pap is gonna feel when you die? It’s gonna destroy him, and I’ll have to pick up the pieces.”

You had started crying somewhere during his speech, soul aching at the knowledge that he was right. Somewhere along the line, something was going to happen to you, and the closer you got to Papyrus, the more he would be hurt. How could you do that to him, you, the one close friend he had apart from Sans and Undyne? The person he had let touch his soul, the one who would do anything for him. Even if he wasn’t in love with you, if you kept going the way you were, he might eventually be... and then you would be ripped away from him. 

“HUMAN... NO, ITS OK, PLEASE DONT CRY,” Papyrus had begged, pulling you into his arms. It only made you cry harder, feeling just how much he cared for you already. How could you do this to him? “WE WILL WORK IT OUT, SANS DOES NOT HAVE TO BE RIGHT-“

“He is, though, Papy!” You shook you head, pushing him away, though it was almost physically painful to do it. “Even I know something’s gotta give eventually. I can’t... I can’t stay... I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think...”

“No, you really didn’t.” Sans gazed at you, expression unreadable. “You didn’t even think about working your way into my vulnerable little brother’s soul and then ripping it out with yours. Just like a human.”

The way he said the word had stung. Just like a human. Just like a creature who forces an entire species underground out of fear. Who fights their own kind for petty differences. Who insists on breaking such a wonderful, loving heart for their own personal gratification. Like you.

You pushed past the two of them, furiously wiping your eyes as you headed for the couch to collect your things. Papyrus was silent, wringing his hands as he watched you grab your bag and slip on your shoes. You didn’t dare meet his gaze until you were at the door, and you really wished you hadn’t. His expression was imploring, sockets wide at the sudden decision.

“HUMAN... PLEASE...”

Oh no, you couldn’t handle that pleading tone. You choked out an apology and slipped outside, refusing to look back as you trudged through the snow. Heading for Waterfall and the only other place you know might give you shelter.

Undyne had begrudgingly let you in, insisting on knowing everything, and you had had to tell her. She would’ve gotten the story from Sans if you hadn’t, probably more warped, too. To your surprise, she listened quietly and then, after checking your soul, told you to stay as long as you needed. You’re weren’t too sure where her change of heart had come from, after all that “hurt him I’ll hurt you” from the other day, but you accepted her hospitality without question. 

And now you’re here. Waiting for something, some kind of inspiration to hit you, tell you what to do next. Undyne is out on patrol, leaving you alone in the house with strict instructions not to try and cook while she’s gone. Like you’re not the more capable cook between you, her and Papyrus.

Don’t think about him. Don’t do it.

You suck in a breath, turning away from the window and the weird, swaying practice dummy that you’d swear is looking at you. You desperately want to just go and confront the King, demand he let you use the vague ideas you had raised with someone once to help him and yourself out of this dreary cave. Maybe you’ll raise it with Undyne when she gets back. 

Sitting down at the piano, you play a few notes, but your heart isn’t in it. Your thoughts drift to a moment, years ago on the surface, the last time you touched a piano. Had it been at that music shop your boyfriend at the time dragged you to, trying to get his guitar fixed? You had sat at a display instrument and played a song to try and drown out his arguing with the sales person. You’re so glad you broke up with that guy, he was such a loser... Papyrus is much better...

You’ve had a few days to think about everything, away from him. While your emotions sort themselves out, you’ve considered long and hard about where your heart stands on Papyrus. Do you still love him, or were you just lusting after him? Was it just a crush that will fade the longe you’re apart? You waited to see all the time you’ve been here, and now... you still feel the same. After the sex and the conversations and the internal debates on exactly how selfish you’ve been... you can firmly say that you’re in love with Papyrus, truly and deeply.

And god, how you miss him right now.

/can you shut up about that lanky idiot for like five minutes/

You blink, unmoving, frowning at the strange thought. Or voice. What was that supposed to be, echoing in your head?

/oh my god can you finally hear me. I thought you’d have to get yourself killed again before we did this/

You have no idea what’s happening right now. These obviously aren’t your thoughts.

/no they’re mine. I’m Chara, I’ve hitched a ride in your soul. we talked before, when you died, remember/

That... happened? I thought- wait, how are you in my soul? are you a person? a monster? 

/i... think I’m a ghost. not a monster ghost. a dead human ghost. you landed on my grave when you fell and our souls matched up. I’ve been trying to talk to you for ages but you couldn’t hear me. guess you had to clear your thoughts first. adults brains are weird/

You feel like you’re in some kind of trace, listening to the voice in your head that definitely feels young... this Chara ‘sounds’ like a kid. You don’t know whether you believe the ghost thing, but what even is realistic anymore, down here? Anything is possible. You just have so many questions. First one being- has this young ghost child been watching everything? Including...

/yes/ They’re deadpan, not impressed, and you wince. /I’ve had the great joy of watching you fuck that stupid skeleton. and the pining and fantasies and-/

“Ok that’s enough.” You’re embarrassed, even more so when you realise you’ve spoken out loud. Anyway. What are they doing in your soul, and what do they want?

/I’m not here deliberately. Our soul traits are similar and yours just kind of... grabbed mine up when you fell. You don’t seem very determined, though. More like lost. Are all adults as pathetic as you?/

Now listen here, ghostie... you’re hella annoying. Please get to the point?

/you know that idea you had? I think it’ll work./

Are they talking about the two souls idea? Instead of a monster absorbing a dead human’s soul, two live souls combining to step through the barrier? 

/you’ve merged souls before. You can do it again, just not in a sexual setting. Then just go and collect some old or sick human souls and bring them back, break us all out of here/

Woah. Chara has just answered a question you’ve been sitting on since you arrived. They make it sound so easy- just press souls together and walk through. 

/pretty much./

You wonder if there’s a catch. For one thing, you’ll be bringing a monster to the surface with you. That’s... ok, you can figure that out as it comes. You’d have to choose someone to bring. And figure out how to get to the barrier without the king catching you. And then plan what you’re going to do once you actually make it out. Actually... didn’t you say you were going to help them break the barrier once you left? What does that entail, and what will it mean for the world? 

/the monsters will finally be free, and their human oppressors will get what they deserve/

You straighten, eye narrowing. Didn’t Chara say they were human? 

/yeah, and humans suck. look what they did to these peaceful creatures. we can put this r-/

“-and that’s why you never let anyone talk to you like that, Pap! They’re never gonna stop if you just let it slide.” Undyne practically kicks down the door, startling you off the piano chair, stalking in furiously. Behind her trails Papyrus, nodding meekly at her chastisement, both of them obviously just finished patrol. 

Papyrus stops in his tracks when he sees you, gasping and rushing forward to help you up. “HUMAN! YOU’RE HERE! I DIDN’T KNOW IF I WAS EVER GOING TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”

You throw your arms around him with a laugh, tears pricking your vision. “Hey, Papy! God, it’s good to see you again. Sorry for getting you in trouble...” 

He squeezes you tightly as you see Undyne quickly exit to give you some privacy, and you can feel his soul thumping about a mile a minute under his sweater, almost as fast as yours. “NO, NO, EVERYTHING IS FINE! I THINK SANS THINKS YOU MAY HAVE JUST DISAPPEARED. IM SO SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED, HE SHOULD NOT HAVE TREATED YOU LIKE THAT-“

You shake your head quickly, pulling back to look at him. He’s as handsome and silly as you remember him, and you feel a pang of affection in your heart for this beautiful monster. “Everything he said was true, though, that’s the problem, and I should have thought everything through more carefully...”

He silences you with a kiss, catching you off guard, and you gasp against his teeth and cradle his face in your hands, holding the kiss until you need air. When he pulls back, he’s flushed and smiling gently. “Whatever Sans Says, I Am Not Upset. I’ve Had These Last Few Days To Think, And... I Think I Can Love You, If You Still Want Me To.”

“Oh, Papy...” you sniff, overcome with emotion at the unexpected confession. You’ve been so tired and sad and scared the last few days that this is such a refreshing change and you don’t know how to react. But Papyrus loves you back. Or will. And that’s enough for you. “You’re such a sweetheart. Of course I want you to... but only if you want to. Don’t make yourself feel something just because you know it’ll make me happy...”

He takes your hand and presses it to his chest, and you can feel the quick beat of his soul, fluttering under your fingertips. He must be so nervous, you realise, gazing into his sockets as he smiles gently at you. “Can You Tell How Much I Really Do Want It?”

“Yes...” you breathe, trying to hold back your tears. Damn, you’ve been emotional lately. But he’s so genuine and sweet and how could you not get teary when faced with something like this? “Thank you, Papy. You’ve made me so happy.”

“Are you guys done being all smoochy?” Undyne calls, popping her head in. “Because I didn’t bring him here for tears and kisses. We actually have training, you know.”

“Yeah, we’re done.” You chuckle, wiping your eyes and stepping back from Papyrus. “How come you even let us see each other, anyway? What happened to wanting me to stay away from him?”

“UNDYNE! YOU TOO?” Papyrus’ voice is back to normal, and he sounds so annoyed. 

She shrugs as she steps into the room, arms crossed. “I’m not an idiot. I may want to keep my favourite dork safe, but I can tell you two make each other happy. And I couldn’t stand another second of your mopey face.”

“Thank you, Undyne. I really appreciate it.”

“Yeah, yeah, just no fucking in my house, k?” She rolls her eyes at both your blushes and beckons Papyrus outside. “C’mon, let’s do some actual work, ya goof.”

“RIGHT!”

You follow the two of them outside, and watch them train, feeling so much better about everything. And a plan is starting to hatch in your mind, but it’s risky. There’s no way Undyne would agree to it, even with her acceptance of the two of you. As much as it pains you to upset anyone else, you may need to be deceptive. And if everything goes well, no one will be hurt, and the barrier will be broken. Everyone will be happy with that.

Training passes, and when you join the two for tea afterwards, you decide to begin the first part of your plan- misdirection.

“I want to talk to the king,” you blurt out as you’re nursing your tea at the table. “I want to see if I can convince him.”

“To break the barrier himself?” Undyne shakes her head quickly. “He won’t. No one has been able to get through to him.”

“He hasn’t met me yet.” You sound a lot more confident than you feel, but then again this isn’t really your plan.

“YOU CAN’T SEE THE KING! YOU KNOW WHAT HE’LL DO TO YOU!” 

“He might not, though.” You give Papyrus a smile, hoping your determination shines through. “Not if I have both of you with me, to try and convince him. Surely as the Captain of the Royal Guard, the king trusts your judgement, Undyne. And Papyrus, everyone knows you’re honest and always speak your mind. If you both backed me...”

“I don’t know about that...” Undyne taps her fingers on the table in thought, single eye staring you down as she mulls it over. “What is it you’re trying to convince him of?”

“If I can’t get him to agree to sparing my life and using the souls he already has to cross the barrier... I’ll offer my own, on the condition he uses it for exactly that purpose. You can hold him accountable, can’t you? Don’t you agree that he needs to take responsibility?”

It’s a risky play- appealing to her sense of honour and justice and duty, to try and turn the King’s decision... but it seems to work. She nods, giving you a firm look. “He does. I can’t agree with you risking your life, though.”

“NEITHER CAN I!” Papyrus reaches for your hand, brows furrowed. “I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU!”

“You won’t! Because I trust in you two to keep me safe!”

That does it. Appealing to their pride, trusting them with your life... both of them sit a little straighter, glancing at each other. And suddenly, they’ve agreed.

You set the time- next week, in the evening, giving you plenty of time to figure out what to say and the rest of your plan. There’s a nervous energy in the house when you’ve hashed it all out, everyone worried about the outcome of the next few days. Papyrus decides to leave soon after, and you offer to walk him part of the way home. Time for the second part of your plan. If this doesn’t work, you don’t know what you’re going to do. Part of you is guilty about what you’re about to do, but that part is squashed by the louder part that is determined to finally get things done.

“What were you and Undyne talking about when you came in?” You ask curiously as you both wander through the darkness of Waterfall. “Something about not letting someone treat you like something?”

He hesitates. “OH... I JUST... RAN INTO A LITTLE DIFFICULTY, DURING PATROL. THERE WERE SOME MONSTERS SAYING MEAN THINGS...”

“Like what?”

“LIKE... Like I’d Never Get Into The Guard... I’m Too Soft To Ever Be Useful... I’m too... innocent...” his voice gets softer and softer, and he looks at the ground, expression downcast. “I Know It’s What Everyone Thinks... They Think I’m Too Childish... To Stupid... To Really Do Anything... Or Even Understand...”

“I don’t...” you match his tone, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently. “Who’s ass do I need to kick for saying those things about you? Not that I don’t believe you can do it yourself, but...”

He chuckles, glancing at you with a smile. “Everyone’s? Don’t Worry About It, I’ve Gotten Used To It... Mostly. And Undyne Already Volunteered.”

“Aw, Pap, you have to put up with so much. That must suck.” You glance around, noting how empty the cave is that you’re passing through, and step off the path, pulling him close. “I wish I could do more for you. At least let me remind you how much you’re appreciated?”

He nods, blushing a little, letting you pull him down for a kiss. As lips meet bone, you feel him sigh and slip his arms around you, while you wind yours around his neck. Pressing close, chest to chest, you can feel how his soul speeds up as you move your lips against him, and wonder if he can feel yours too. God, you’d missed this. It feels so good to have him in your arms again.

He’s starting to make noises, soft gasps and hitches of breath, obviously as excited as you to be in this position again. You pull back from him, flushed and panting, and press your forehead to his as you catch your breath. “Come with me to the surface.”

He freezes, and you can tell he’s mulling over what you just said, trying to figure out if he heard right. “What?”

“I have a plan. You know your people’s legends, about the prince and the human? How he got to the surface by absorbing their soul?”

He nods, his smooth skull rubbing against your skin. 

“Well, I believe that we can do the same. Only I stay alive.” You nuzzle him as you speak, hoping the positive attention will help him decide in your favour. It’s a dirty manipulative move, but you truly believe this is going to work. “Remember when we pressed our souls together? It felt like we knew every inch of each other... like we were each other... we can do the same again, and I think we can get through together.”

“How?” His voice is shaky, and he clutches you tight. The idea scares him, it seems. “How Do You Know It Will Work?”

“Because it’s been done before. And think about it- we get up there, collect a few more souls, come back and break the barrier like the king has refused to do for the last millennia. We’ll be heroes, Papy. Think of that- helping to free your people. I’m sure no one will say those awful things about you ever again.”

It’s an easy blow, a cheap trick, appealing to his desire to be loved and appreciate and a hero. You can’t justify it- you feel guilty, and you should, too. But getting to the surface, breaking the monsters out, isn’t that what everyone wants? You’re sure you’ll be forgiven for your methods when the monsters finally feel the sun on their faces after a thousand years imprisoned down here.

“Besides,” you add, like a cherry on top of the awful cake of manipulation you’ve put together, “don’t you want to see the surface with me? Feel the sun on your bones, see the stars and the flowers, let me show you around the new world? You can stay at my place, and we can discover so many things together... I’ll be your own personal tour guide...”

You’ve got him. He stands back, eyelights glittering with determination, and nods eagerly. “Yes! That Sounds Amazing! I Will Come With You- Let’s Go Tell Undyne About The New Plan-“

“No!” You stop him hastily. “Do you really think she’ll let you go? No, this has to be a secret, ok? I gave her that plan so she’d take me to the palace. You and me will go before anyone realises what’s happened, and when we come back, they’ll realise just how proactive you are! Even the king will be impressed!” Maybe you’re laying it on a little thick, but he seems to be eating it up, accepting your plan without a second thought.

Once you’ve agreed to flesh out every single detail the next time you see each other, you go with him a little further before turning back and returning to Undyne’s, full of nerves and guilt. That’s no way to treat your wonderful, accepting skeleton who you love very much. But the end justifies the means... right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just in: Reader is not an angel.
> 
> Things are falling into place. I wonder if anyone can guess the outcome yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated! If anyone has criticism, advice, or ideas for later chapter, don't hesitate to drop a line!
> 
> Thanks for reading, and you'll be seeing me again soon.


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